


Morning Coffee. Afternoon Tea

by Kazewrites



Category: Original Work
Genre: Allergies, Angst, Angst and Drama, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Asthma, Drama & Romance, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Gay Character, Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by Music, Internal Monologue, M/M, Mild Language, Older Characters, Professors, Romance, Sick Character, Sickfic, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Smoking, Social Anxiety, Song Lyrics, Unrequited Crush, Writers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:26:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 28,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27144481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kazewrites/pseuds/Kazewrites
Summary: Liam hasn't had the best luck with relationships. So while on sabbatical, from his writing job, Liam meets a quirky professor. When feelings begin to develop how Liam deal with them? Will the anxiety that's plagued him for so long once again ruin his chances at having anyone in his life?
Comments: 2
Kudos: 39





	1. Strangers On A Train

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to the only novel I've ever finished. I wrote this back in 2015 while I was going through some major anxiety. What started as a one shot exploded into the longest work I've ever done. Originally it was posted on a niche forum but after many people said they'd recommend to others I decided to rework it. 
> 
> The main plot is the exact same, reworking mostly came down to making it less niche. I changed the title slightly as well.
> 
> The two main characters mean a lot to me, they're my favorites I've created and I project on them a lot so I hope you like them as well. This was truly a labor of love for me.
> 
> A few things. As I stated I wrote this back in 2015 so some of the pop cultures references are specific to that year and some of the technology used isn't as relevant mostly because something better came along (ie my use of skype and not discord/zoom for example). Also song lyrics play a huge role in this. Most of this story started as me being obsessed with Cecilia and the Satellite by Andrew McMahon. All of the songs mentioned are at least 5 years old.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this. Comments are always appreciated!
> 
> The chapter title refers to a noir movie.

_Being alone isn't all bad right?_

Similar thoughts had swirled in Liam's head lately. Inhaling, letting the nicotine calm him one last time, he flicked the cigarette onto the ground crushing it beneath his foot. Smoking was forbidden on the train so he had quickly lit one last before final boarding. He hadn’t smoked in ages but lately with everything he seemed not able to go more than a few hours without one. It relaxed him, he hated that. Zipping up his black hoodie, he dug into his pocket for his phone which had vibrated.

_U leave yet? - M_

Liam sighed, typing a hasty reply to his sister.

_About to, I’m turning my phone off now. Talk to you later, Mel._

With that he clicked the screen off and stuck his cell back in his pocket. He stared at the train for a second; fully aware they were calling for the final boarding.

_“What do you mean you’re leaving? The fuck you are! You have a deadline!”_

_“I’m taking a sabbatical; I already cleared it with Cordelia. You’ll live.”_

_“Goddamn Liam, this isn’t fair.”_

_“Should have thought of that before you fucked Simon.”_

Liam shook his head furiously desperately trying to shake the last conversation with Bryce from his head. The tightness in his chest he had felt for almost a week started rising again. He tried taking a few breaths to calm himself but all he could think about was how badly he wanted another cigarette; and physically punch Bryce in the face. Sadly neither of those options currently worked so Liam swallowed hard and boarded the train.

Most of the passenger cars were over half empty; Liam guessed not many people were venturing up north now that the days had turned colder. Many of the trees had shed their leaves so even tourists watching the colors had all but left. Liam took a seat near the back by the window; keeping himself far away from the few other patrons scattered around.

_Good._ He thought to himself setting his laptop bag on the seat across. With a few stops along the way hopefully luck would mean his car would be empty soon. Liam never liked being around other people. Bryce had joked it was all due to being an introvert but Liam did not fully agree. Yes he was introverted, he didn’t deny that but it seemed he always had a difficult time focusing or even breathing when he got around large groups of people. His sister had once thrown the word “Agoraphobia” which Liam admitted later he had to google. Apparently this was an anxiety disorder caused by being in a situation where you don’t feel comfortable usually triggered by wide open spaces or social situations. Liam had clicked google closed after reading that, he didn’t mind being outside, it was just the people who ruined it. Truth be told Liam had severe anxiety, that he was sure of. It was something he was not proud of and not even discussed at length with Melody. Panic attacks happened from time to time, his latest leading to this trip.

It made working as a freelance writer the ideal job for him, he wrote when he felt like, didn’t have to interview or interact with others aside from Bryce, his Editor and Cordelia, his boss. Cordelia ran an online magazine which had begun as her personal blog years ago. Nearly all her employees were freelance covering all aspects of the world, pop culture and whatever she decided to publish that month. That’s how he had met Bryce.

Liam involuntarily clenched thinking of his now ex-boyfriend.

_“If I could fly. Then I would know. What life looks like from up above and down below._  
_I'd keep you safe. I'd keep you dry. Don't be afraid Cecilia I'm the satellite._  
_And you're the sky.”_

Liam quietly sang the lyrics to himself. The train whistled and pulled away from the station. Working with his ear buds in he typed away ignoring anyone exiting at stops. After the last one before the long haul to Prim, Liam happily did not see anyone else aound. Now he’d have a few hours of true peace.

However his peace was quickly interrupted as Liam discovered he was sadly not the only person in this train car. Whoever his traveling companion was they were not being quiet. Liam leaned forward around the chair in front of him to get a better view. Another man sat a few rows up; he took the seat that was facing Liam though he had not noticed Liam looking. The man wore a button up cardigan and scarf, which Liam found odd since the train car was not that cold. Liam shrugged it off, leaned back and closed his eyes.

The distinct sound of something heavy hitting the floor sounded a few rows down.

Liam opened one eye momentarily closing it again after a few seconds.

"Blast it."

Liam moved again to look at the only other person in the car who was bent over retrieving his briefcase. The man was clearly older than him, Liam couldn’t really tell specifically, plus he was bad at age guessing. Late thirties maybe, though with that stunning grey hair he could easily have been older.

Resting his chin on his hand so he could watch the other man without staring, Liam admitted his compartment companion was kind of cute. He had never really been into older men but at this point any distraction from Bryce and his electric blue hair was warranted.

The older man drew a handkerchief from inside his cardigan; Liam could make out a grey suit beneath it, also a burgundy bowtie.

_This guy looks like a stereotypical English professor._ Liam internally giggled.

The man coughed into the handkerchief. Liam started to feel bad for the guy; he hadn't noticed initially but there appeared to be dark lines beneath his eyes which stood out against his pale face. The man leaned back with a sigh. He did not move for a while, Liam figured he had fallen asleep so he turned his attention to the passing countryside.

Peace and quiet returned for a bit, Liam nearly forgot about his train companion. About an hour outside of his destination Liam’s nicotine craving started to hit. He had been involuntarily shaking his knee when he finally realized why he was getting so agitated. Arching his back he stretched and once again happened to gaze over at the other person in the car. He still had the cardigan and scarf on, a briefcase sat on his lap; the man was looking at some papers in one hand, his other holding his handkerchief.

Suddenly the man lurched forward coughing again into it.

It must have caught him off guard as the briefcase fell to the floor, the latch busting open and papers landed at his feet.

“Bloody hell.” Liam heard the man say.

He was not sure what motivated his next move but Liam rose from his seat, walked a few steps forward and started picking up some of the papers which were out of reach for the other man.

“Oh.” The man looked surprised to see Liam. “ I didn’t realize anyone else was in this car. I apologize if I disturbed you.” He blushed in embarrassment.

Liam returned a smile, “It's fine.” He picked up a few more papers holding them out.

The older man smiled faintly, “Thank you. I'm already clumsy even without this blasted cough.” He scoffed. “Got caught in the blasted rain last night, caught a chill that I just couldn’t shake, weave in fall allergies and..." He looked up realizing Liam was still holding out the papers. “Oh and I babble too.” He blushed again and cleared his throat while putting the papers back in his briefcase.

Liam couldn’t help but laugh internally. This was not a person he expected to meet on a train ride. Needless to say instead of returning to his seat, he sat opposite of his new acquaintance.

“Liam.” He introduced himself.

“Gabriel. People call me Gabe.” He smiled but Liam noticed his tone lowered when he said his nickname. Or maybe he’d imagined it.

“Excuse me.” Gabriel replied sheepishly before coughing again.

Liam shrugged, “No need, you’re not feeling well, it happens.”

Gabriel scoffed, “Yes but it happens more than I would like it too.” He sighed. “Always right as the new semester starts too.”

Liam raised an eyebrow. “New semester?”

Gabriel nodded. “I teach at Davenport College.”

Liam could not stop the next word out of his mouth, “English?”

Gabriel nodded again, “Along with History, Psychology, it’s a small college so I wear many hats....what’s so funny?”

Liam looked away waving his hand, “Nothing, nothing.” His voice broke as he tried holding in his laughter.

“And now you’re laughing at me. Charming.” Gabriel’s quiet tone jerked Liam back.

“Sorry! Really sorry, it’s just,” Liam ran his hand through his dirty blonde hair. “When I first saw you I thought you looked like a professor, I didn’t expect to be right. Sorry.” Liam’s phone suddenly vibrated.

_Damn I thought I turned that off!_ He cursed inwardly.

Liam cleared his throat, “Again sorry.”

“I'm being oversensitive; I’ve been told I do that.” Gabriel looked away.

“No no, sorry you just look kind of like the Eleventh Doctor.” Liam hoped the man sitting across from him would take it as a compliment.

“Ah, well I have not watched Doctor Who since Sylvester McCoy was the Doctor, so I will take you at your word.”

_Okay so he’s definitely over 30_. Liam thought to himself.

Neither spoke for several minutes, Liam was beginning to feel bad for his impromptu outburst at Gabriel’s expense. He seemed nice, upon closer look Liam found the older man quite attractive. Besides the grey hair, Gabriel had light blue eyes, much like the sky on a clear day. Liam still really could not tell his age, his face was deceptively young looking.

Liam's phone vibrated. Ignoring it he shifted in his seat; his knee involuntarily shaking again. A few minutes later his phone went off for a third time.

“Are you alright?” Gabriel asked.

Surprised to hear Gabriel again Liam turned. “Yes, why?”

“Well I do not know many young people who don't check their phones the instant it goes off.” He grinned. “Plus you have been fidgeting for quite some time. I noticed it after you sat down.”

Liam opened his mouth but then thought better. He pulled his cell from his pocket sliding the screen open. Three messages, all from Bryce.

Annoyed Liam decided not to read them thrusting his phone back in his pocket. God he needed a cigarette. Liam looked back at Gabriel who was not doing a good job of hiding the curiosity on his face. Liam shook his head. “Nothing, stupid ex is all.”

_Don't be afraid Cecilia I'm the satellite._

“Oh.” Gabriel said in a rather somber voice. “Well here’s to the brokenhearted.” He raised an imaginary glass.

The gesture actually brought a smile to Liam.

_What an odd person_. He thought. Whereas Bryce was his age, brash, enjoyed dying his hair an obnoxiously loud color every few weeks, partied and was generally rowdy and annoying, the person sitting across from him could not have been any more opposite. Gabriel looked like that weird uncle you have at family dinner.

“So what brings you to my neck of the woods?” Gabriel asked pocketing the handkerchief back into the cardigan. “You don't look like you are much of a country person.”

"I’m not.” Liam really did not feel like going into the reasons for his trip with someone he had just met. “It’s...” Right on cue his phone vibrated again. Liam squeezed his eyes shut massaging his forehead with his right hand. “Complicated.” He finally got out.

Gabriel held up his hands, “Understood, I should not have pried.”

Something he had said made Liam wonder, “Do you live out here?”

Gabriel hesitiated briefly but then he looked back at Liam, “During school yes, in the summer if I am not teaching or during holidays, I abide in the city. But as I am here most of the year I consider it home.” He sighed. “Though I'm not sure why, the spring and fall are horrendous on my allergies and asthma plus the heat at my place does not always come on. But it is peaceful.”

_And that’s what I need_. . “It sounds nice, well aside from the allergens and heat issue.”

The train whistle blew an overhead voice announced they would be arriving in a few minutes. “If I was not feeling so off, I would offer to show you around.” Gabriel sighed, “But I plan on hibernating once home."

The train pulled into the station, Gabriel rose pulling on a coat and collecting his briefcase. Liam went back to his original seat grabbing his bags from the other chair.

“Thank you for keeping me company, Liam.” Gabriel smiled even though his face looked quite tired.

"I hope you feel better Gabriel.” Liam said while hiking his bag over his shoulder.

For some reason Liam could have sworn he saw Gabriel blush but decided it was just his imagination.

“Thank you.” Gabriel replied as walked to the door, tripping lightly on the step down. Thankfully he caught himself.

Liam was surprised a town this small actually had a train station. _Must be due to the college_. Barely out of the station which was nothing more than a small wooden building with a ticket window, he pulled his last cigarette from his pack. Grabbing the lighter from his pocket he held it with one hand the other shielding the air as he walked so the cigarette would light. As soon as it sparked Liam took a much needed drag again cursing how nice it felt. Exhaling the smoke he started down the narrow street.

_If I could fly. Then I would know. What life looks like from up above and down below._

The village of Prim had an old world charm to it; any scene looked straight out of a postcard. Most of the streets were cobblestone, there were very few cars. Liam had counted more dogs than cars. The buildings on what he determined to be the main road were stone, almost piled on top of each other, with shingle style roofs . All the windows had wooden shutters and flower boxes which were vacant.

_I'd keep you safe. I'd keep you dry. Don't be afraid Cecilia I'm the satellite._

The lady at the train station had directed him to his housing, it was along next to a group of row houses two streets back from the main road. Rock walls, possibly centuries old, lined the sides of narrow stone street. Liam was not even sure a car could have fit. One thing he had noticed was a distinct lack of people, for that he was grateful.

He looked at the address he had been given matching it to a quaint two story tan brick house converted into a duplex. A pebble pathway, split a neat little garden, led up from the street. In the window of the bottom story a _For Rent_ sign sat, his sabbatical home was on the second floor.

The landlord told Liam the key would be left in the mailbox the day of his arrival. Reaching in, almost shocked, he pulled out a silver key. Small town indeed. He thought. Something like this would never fly in Newhaven.

The door creaked open, Liam walked up the stairs to a small but cozy living space. He exhaled relieved to finally be "home".

It might have been light years from the city but at this point Liam was more relaxed than he had been in months.

_And you're the sky._


	2. Little Talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Liam learns more about his companion from the train.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title comes from a Of Monster And Men song. Comments appreciated!

After what only Liam could deem a restful night, he packed his laptop and headed into town. He wanted a decent feel of the town and considering he still had not seen many people on the sleepy streets, his anxiety wasn't bothering him. However that may have been due to the few cigarettes he smoked while exploring.

Prim was listed as a village but it was home to nearly three thousand people. Liam found even with its quaint attire it did have some modern amenities. There were several coffee shops and cafes; a little grocery store, different local places to eat serving a variety of styles of food. Several shops of knickknacks, touristy things, a small post office and even a bar which surprised Liam the most.

 _I guess even people living in tiny places need an escape._ He thought passing the The Briar Rose.

Liam was more interested in finding a wifi signal. He pulled his black hoodie up; autumn was in full swing now, no more semi warm days.

Liam looked at his phone noticing a wifi alert coming from a nearby cafe which wasn’t too far from where he was staying. Praying it wasn’t password protected he entered, the door gave a clichéd ding as the bell rang. Cafe was one room, with a small counter along the left side and seating everywhere else. There was a staircase in back behind the counter. The owners clearly lived above. Inside was sparse, maybe ten tables, and all had a vase with a fake plastic flower sticking out of it. Liam did not mind, one the wifi was not protected as he logged in via his phone and two, there were no other people inside. As he placed his laptop on a table in the back an older woman came out.

“Need something to warm you up hun?” It took Liam a split second to realize she was talking to him.

“Uh, not yet.” He replied quickly.

“Okay just holler when you decide.” She said giving him a warm smile.

Liam would die before hollering for anything. Flipping open his laptop Liam waited a moment for it to boot up. Though he was technically on sabbatical he had promised Cordy he would write if he felt like it. Problem was he felt more like having a cigarette than writing. Liam enjoyed the peace though; it was early, maybe a bit past 7:00 am. That’s what came with insomnia; you could easily get up any hour of the morning. Liam finally ordered a latte; it was not bad either considering it appeared to have been made with the oldest cappuccino machine ever. He occasionally heard the bell on the door chime, over the music playing in his ear buds, not paying attention to anyone who happened to come in. As long as they did not sit near him he did not care.

The bell rung again.

“Professor Herondale, good morning!” Liam heard the lady behind the counter say. He peeked up from his monitor and laid eyes on the man he’d shared a train compartment with.

Liam smirked; today the professor wore a three piece tan suit complete with vest which Liam saw briefly as he pulled his black coat back removing a handkerchief from his pocket. He couldn’t see if he had a bowtie or not, since his neck was covered by the same scarf he had worn on the train. Liam bet bowtie as he removed one ear bud. He also had the same briefcase in one hand while some folders were tightly clutched under his arm.

“Good morning Millicent, Grace. Black coffee please.” He asked with a cough.

Grace ended up being what Liam concluded as the granddaughter of the older lady and probably the reason this place had wifi to begin with. She was definitely college age and given her giant grin as she looked at Gabriel she was a fan.

“Here Professor.” Grace set the coffer on the counter. The enthusiasm in her reply caused Liam to roll his eyes.

“Thank you,” Gabriel’s voice sounded raspy to Liam. “I’ll see you for Western Literature correct?”

“Yes, at 1:00.” Grace looked like a puppy in a store trying to impress a potential buyer.

Liam moved his gaze back to Gabriel. It was clear he was not over his cough from the train. Even from his seat near the back Liam could see Gabriel’s nose was pretty red, he looked a bit pale as well but he had just come in from outside. Liam shrugged it off.

“Asthma bothering you today, Professor?” Millicent asked

Liam saw Gabriel give an embarrassed smile, “Oh you know me, always is.” As Gabriel went to pick up his coffee a folder he had been holding under his arm against his body fell to the floor.

“Blast it.” Liam watched Gabriel bend down to retrieve his papers. This time though Liam stayed where he was, anxiety holding him to his chair.

“Do you need any help Professor?” Grace said in a way too eager to help tone which made Liam’s teeth hurt.

“No I’m fine. But thank you.” Gabriel replied hastily stuffing everything in the folder then back under his arm. He then finally grabbed his coffee. “Good day ladies.”

This guy reeks of proper etiquette. Liam mused as he watched Professor Herondale leave.

_Gabriel Herondale. Nice name._

“Isn’t he just super-hot?” Grace said to no one in particular. Liam nearly choked on his latte.

“Grace Katherine!” Her grandmother looked appalled. “He’s old enough to be your father.” Grace replied but Liam replaced his ear bud as to block out her annoying voice. He watched as both of them went into the back again leaving him the only person in the cafe. He stretched, arched his back then stood up since he had been sitting for a while. Twisting Liam noticed something on the floor under a table. Walking over it was a set of keys, probably Gabriel’s. The professor already appeared frazzled, Liam didn't want him to be without his keys as well. The writer packed up his laptop swinging the bag over his shoulder. After throwing a few dollars on the table, he decided to explore Davenport College.

Had he not been looking for it, Liam was sure would have simply walked by the college. There were malls bigger than this place. The entire estate was surrounded by a rock wall that Liam deemed had been there since the beginning of time. The college itself was only made up of about 8-10 total buildings, all nested within several yards of each other. Several were red brick, with a few bricks missing. Liam walked by a small building whose cornerstone said 1855. Giving a quick glance around Liam did not see Gabriel. Two students walked by him, Liam went to ask but his voice locked as tightness gripped his chest. Whipping out his cigarettes, lighting one he took a quick drag before hiding his hands behind his back.

“Excuse me!” He called to the girls, who both turned. “Hi…umm..do you know where Ga…Professor Herondale’s office is?”

The taller blonde girl pointed to an old two-story brick building up the path directly to his left.

“He’s in the basement, poor guy.” The girl added. Liam was not sure what that meant but thanked her quickly turning to take another hit managing to finish the cigarette before he entered.

The inside did not fair much better than the outside as Liam pushed through the worn wood door. The concrete walls were chipped in many places, exposing layers of paint beneath. Liam managed to find the staircase at the end of the hall.

He descended the stairs into a dimly lit hallway, old lights buzzing overhead. There were doors on either side, none of them were labeled. He was not sure how to find Gabriel.

"Blast it!" A familiar sounded.

 _Well that was easy._ Liam rounded a corner which came to a dead end, one door on the right side and Gabriel standing in front of it.

“Bloody hell, where did I put them?” Liam watched Gabriel frantically search his pockets. His voice sounded breathy but strained.

Liam cleared his throat; the older man jumped, he clearly was not expecting anyone.

"Sorry!" Liam felt bad for scaring him.

Gabriel put his hands up, "It’s fine, fine." He panted but now looked at Liam giving him a curious face like he was trying to place where he had seen him. “From the train...” His forehead wrinkled. “You would think I would be better with names.”

Liam stepped forward holding out the keys. “Liam.”

Liam swore Gabriel let out a little squeal upon seeing what was in his hand but decided he had imagined. “Oh my heavens, thank you!” He said now unlocking the door and beckoning Liam in.

“You dropped it in the cafe.” Liam’s gaze started wandering around Gabriel’s office.

Gabriel sighed, “Of course I did.” He sniffed. “Again thank you...”

“Liam.” He repeated.

“Liam.” Gabriel looked intently at him as if welding the name and face together. “Liam. Understood. Welcome to the dungeon.”

That’s what she meant. “This is your office?” Liam asked, still looking around. The room was tight, a desk left of the middle, with two bookcases behind it and two more on the left wall. All were crammed top to bottom with not only books but papers and binders. An old touch tone phone sat on the desk next to a lamp which might have had the first light bulb ever produced in it. Another light hung from the ceiling. Books were also stacked around the desk and really in every corner of the small area. A chair, which Liam did not trust to sit on, the only other piece of furniture in the room.

Absent-mindedly Liam ran a hand along part of a shelf, a thick layer of dust coating his finger.

"Apologies for the dust." Gabriel stifled a cough. “It is not used during the summer months so everything settles, not very well ventilated as you would imagine. Plays havoc with my allergies. Hopefully the cleaners will come by soon. What?”

“Nothing, I just keep waiting for Doc and Marty to show up and tell me I’ve gone back to 1955.” He threw a laugh at Gabriel who stared blankly back. “You’ve never seen Back To The Future?” Liam asked, a bit shocked.

“No.” Gabriel said quietly his cheeks reddened.

“Seriously?” He laughed. “I really must be in 1955.” Liam added offhandedly, he had meant it as a joke but looking at Gabriel, the older man had not taken it that way.

“Sorry! I often talk before I think. I hadn’t meant for it to sound like that.” Liam apologized nervously.

Gabriel relaxed, “No I was being oversensitive, I’ve been told I do that. No harm.”

“Yeah you told me, on the train.” Liam added when it was clear Gabriel did not remember.

“You remembered that?” He sounded impressed.

“Writer.” Liam answered, “I need to remember details.”

“What do you...” Gabriel coughed hard, turning his back to Liam.

“Are you okay?” Stupid question Liam. He might be wrong but a distinct wheeze seemed to be coming from the professor. So he did not believe when Gabriel nodded.

“I’ll be fine, just waiting for the allergy pill I took to start working. Not a great way to start the school year, Gabe.” He exhaled which triggered another intense cough. The wheeze now definitely audible.

“Oh dear.” Gabriel said, putting his hand against his chest. He padded his pockets momentarily then pulled out a pocket watch from his vest pocket. “And I don’t have time to get it.”

“Something wrong?” Another stupid question.

“It seems I forgot my inhaler, it’s on my kitchen table in my flat.” Gabriel put his hand to his temple.

 _An inhaler too, this guy has it rough_. Liam thought.

“Sadly I don’t have time to..” He inhaled a raspy breath. Liam could see Gabriel’s cheeks flushing. "Time...to”

“Time to run get it yourself” Liam felt obligated to finish the sentence for the poor guy.

Gabriel acknowledged him while wiping his red rimmed eyes with the back of his hand.

“I’ll do it.” Liam said.

“You would?” Gabriel looked generally stunned.

Liam shrugged, “You need it right? Just tell me where to go.” He waited on Gabriel who still appeared to be registering his offer. “So...”

Gabriel finally jerked back to reality getting his keys again. He tossed them to Liam but missed hitting the door behind. “Forgive my aim.” He winced, cheeks turning pink for a second. “The building directly across from this one. I'm in your debt, Liam.” His breathing sounded very pained.

“Apartment number?” Liam asked quickly putting his laptop bag down as Gabriel sat on the corner of the desk now physically bent over trying to catch his breath

“Third floor, 302.” The professor wheezed out. “Thank you.”

Liam did not even hear the thanks. He was already sprinting back up the stairs, out the door and across the small field toward the brick building directly ahead of him. Pulling back so he would not physically crash into the door, Liam pulled the knob, surprised it actually opened. Apparently the outside door did not lock. Skipping every other step he arrived in front of 302. Looking down at Gabriel’s keys there were only three. Second time was the charm as he pushed open to one of the smallest apartment he’d ever seen.

I’ve seen dorm rooms bigger. Panting heavily, Liam searched for the inhaler on the table which was covered with all different kinds of store bought and prescription medicines for whatever ailment you could think of. Allergy relief for general allergies, another box for just seasonal, cough medicine, pain killers, every major brand medicine for relief of cold, fever, flu, etc. and a few brands he had never heard of. It was like an in home pharmacy.

 _This guy..._ Liam moved a few things before finding the inhaler. He stuck it in his hoodie pocket also grabbing a handkerchief which was still inside the packaging. As he turned to leave something caught his eye, a picture, one of the few in the small room sat on a table next to the door. Liam peered down at it. The photo was of Gabriel, looking a bit younger, and another dark haired man. Scene looked like it had been taken at a beach. Liam studied the photo briefly. Even given the possible beach setting Gabriel’s nose had a hint of red to it. Allergies maybe. But what got Liam was his smile. It was bright, full of life. Whoever was with Gabriel in his photo obviously made him happy. Liam did not understand why a lump had formed in his chest just from a picture.

_“If I could fly. Then I would know. What life looks like from up above and down below.”_

Liam sung the lyrics to himself. Making sure the door locked, Liam grabbed a breath then ran back to the dungeon, he found Gabriel still sitting on the desk hunched over, his breathing short and shallow.

“Here.” Liam gasped holding out the inhaler, Gabriel squeaked a relief sigh, pressing the inhaler’s medicine into his constricted lungs. After two deep breaths Gabriel’s breathing began to ease. He closed his eyes; Liam saw small beads of sweat around his temples.

“Thank you.” He finally said turning to Liam. “That feels much better.”

“It was nothing, I’m just glad you feel better.” Liam replied as his own breath calmed. Gabriel looked mildly flustered.

“Two encounters so far and I’ve not been at my best at either.” Gabriel ran his hand through his grey hair, messing it.

“Well we all have our off days.” Liam really was trying to lighten the mood.

“You saw my kitchen table correct?” Gabriel looked at Liam out of the corner of his eye. “I don’t really have ‘on’ days.”

Liam swallowed not sure how to respond. Gabriel shook his head as if trying to shake his last comment off. He pulled his watch out.

“Blast, I have to get class.” He stuck his watch, handkerchief and inhaler in his pockets. “Thank you again Liam. Apologies for causing you trouble.” He threw his coat on.

Liam smiled, “Hey it’s nothing, I’m sure anyone would have done it.”

He saw Gabriel pause momentarily while putting his scarf on. “Now that is where you would be incorrect.” He said not looking at Liam.

Liam did not like the look on Gabriel’s face, the sad expression reminded him of that of a child who had a birthday party and no one came. “Gabriel.”

“I really must go, I should have left five minutes ago.” He barely got his handkerchief back out of his pocket, coughing into it. He walked past Liam who had just pulled his laptop bag back on.

Gabriel locked his door, Liam followed him down the hall. "I really must remember to take allergy medicine as soon as I wake up.

“Do you need more?” Liam asked, but Gabriel shook his head.

“I have some in my briefcase; I try to always be prepared.” He shrugged. “This is ironic considering I forgot my inhaler and did not bring an extra handkerchief.” He gave a tired laugh, Liam still heard that asthmatic wheeze in it.

Suddenly Liam stuck his hand in his hoodie pocket. “I forgot I grabbed this for you while I was at your place.” He held up the handkerchief package.

The relief on Gabriel’s face caught Liam off guard; such little things seem to make the professor happy. “Oh thank you...again.” He took the package sticking it in his pocket. He then turned to Liam, “I owe you but I really must go, my students will think I’m too ill for class.” He started backing up, “But I’ll make it up to you. Thank you Liam.” He turned and broke into a brisk walk. Liam just watched him until he got to the steps of a building which said “Baker Hall” in brick then watched him go inside.

_I'd keep you safe. I'd keep you dry. Don't be afraid Cecilia I'm the satellite._

Then Liam turned, a smile on his face and headed back to town.


	3. OK Computer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Liam finds out how technologically impaired and awkward Gabriel is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is from a Radio Head album. Chapter also contains references to Doctor Who. Comments appreciated!

Storms rolled in the next day so Liam stayed in his housing. The soothing sound of the rain hitting his bedroom window helped relax him. Liam loved water of any kind, had since childhood. The simplicity of watching puddles form from rainfall calmed him enough to work during the day. He even managed a few hours of sleep thanks to the light sprinkling mixed with the sounds of the country. Around 4:00am he jerked awake so he passed the time until deciding to venture out. The air felt damp as Liam walked avoiding the few remaining puddles. He hoped the coffee shop would be open; it was just after 6:00am. The sun was just barely showing; a few people were out on the street heading to work. Early risers needed coffee he figured.

The inside light appeared to be on but that did not mean the cafe was open, there was no sign in the window. He pulled on the door and let out a relieved exhale when it opened. He was more surprised to find another patron inside already, but she was sitting next to the window so Liam went to the back table he had used before. Today he had brought his charger since he had noticed a plug in the wall.

He flipped open his laptop, ordered a latte as it booted up, sat with his earbuds in and started working again. Well it wasn’t really working; he logged into Skype but kept his status as invisible since he noticed Bryce was on. He did want to talk to Cordy though but she would not be on until afternoon. He searched for some designs, read some new articles on Cordy’s and other blogs, trying to get a small spark of inspiration on what to write. He had logged some notes while inside yesterday, he was about to open a file when he became aware someone was next to him.

He glanced up to see Gabriel, looking a bit flustered.

“Gabriel? Sorry have you been standing there long?” Now it was Liam’s turn to fluster as he removed his earbuds. “Sometimes this thing sucks in all my attention.” He half motioned to his laptop.

“Actually I just arrived you’re fine.” Gabriel replied. Liam noted the professor sounded better today.

“Oh here sit, well if you have time.” Liam moved his laptop over. Gabriel nodded thanks, setting down his coffee. He removed his coat laying it over an unused chair. Brown tweed jacket, blue bowtie.

 _Cordy would be losing it right now_. Liam thought of his employer’s fondness for the Eleventh Doctor. He let out a tiny laugh which he hoped Gabriel would take as a cough.

“How are you doing?” Liam asked.

“Fine, I recuperated from my little asthmatic episode.” Gabriel replied sitting down.

“Good!” Liam realized he said that a bit too enthusiastically but Gabriel did not seem to notice.

“I...I wanted to thank you again for the other day. You didn’t have to assist me. But you did and I appreciate it.” Gabriel seemed agitated; he would not even look at Liam. “I’d like to repay you if possible; can I buy you a coffee?”

Before Liam could answer Skype alerted to an incoming call. Frantically Liam clicked cancel. He already knew who it was.

“What was that?” Gabriel gave the laptop a confused look.

“Skype, I’m not going to answer it.” Liam replied minimizing the chat.

“Answer what?” Gabriel asked.

“Skype.” Liam said again wondering if Gabriel had just not heard him. The blank stare on the professor's face made it clear there was a difference between hearing and understanding. “Never mind, not important. Coffee you say?”

Liam was not an avid coffee drinker but if his new acquaintance wanted to repay him well then another one wouldn't hurt. Gabriel returned with a latte, giving his pocket watch a quick glance.

“I’m not keeping you, am I?” Liam asked taking a drink.

“No my first class isn’t for another hour,” Gabriel shrugged, “But I’m not always the best with time, it gets away from me.”

 _Wibbly wobbly timey wimey._ Liam hid his expression behind his cup.

Hia phone suddenly rang, nearly making Liam drop his latte. He quickly ignored the call, switching it to vibrate. Liam wanted nothing to do with Bryce this morning. He set the phone on the table and turned his attention back to Gabriel who sat legs crossed looking amused.

“And people wonder why I don’t have one.”  
In retrospect the comment should not have surprised Liam but he still gave a brief jaw drop.

“You don’t have a phone?”

Gabriel replied, “Oh I have a phone, two actually.”

“I meant a cell. How do you communicate with people?”

“I am conversing aren’t I?” Gabriel smiled. Liam could see the amusement in his face.

“Funny.” Liam said dryly.

“I do own a computer, nothing like what you have though.” Gabriel motioned to the laptop.

“You do? Figured you as a typewriter person.” The words escaped his mouth but amazingly Gabriel did not react.

“I have that too.” He said nonchalantly.

 _Of course_. Liam was not sure what shocked him more; the no cell phone or the computer comment. “Is your computer a desktop?”

Gabriel looked confused, “I can’t take it with me if that’s what you mean. Not that I need too I only use it for Word Processing and email.”

“You have email?” Liam laughed then immediately regretted it seeing Gabriel’s frown. “Sorry, spoke before I thought.” S _o maybe it’s the laughing that sets him off._

“I do.” Gabriel replied stiffly. “It’s the best way to notify students when class is cancelled due to... unforeseen circumstances.” He cleared his throat.

 _Translation; when you’re having health issues._ Liam thought of the table in Gabriel’s flat. He noticed the professor looking at his sleeve.

“It says Avenged Sevenfold,” Liam pulled the material tight making the text easier to read. “It’s a band.” He continued answering Gabriel’s clueless look. “I got it several years ago at a concert, might have been the Warped Tour.” He shrugged.

“I’ll just pretend to know what that means.” Gabriel replied looking uncomfortable again.

“It’s a concert where a lot of bands play like Lollap...like Woodstock was.” Liam figured if Gabriel hadn’t heard of Woodstock he was officially beyond help.

“Oh right.” Gabriel seemed to make the connection. Liam watched him rub his nose. “I haven’t been to a concert in years, too many airborne issues for me.”

“Yeah I don’t go to many either but I like this band a lot and some friends went.” Liam did not want to get into his anxiety about people just yet.

Skype made another beep; Liam hit the cancel button again. _Damnit Bryce I’m Invisible stop trying to call._ Suddenly he needed a cigarette.

“I saw AWOLNation last year,” He forced himself back to the conversation. “What concert did you go too?” Liam bit his lip in anticipation.

Gabriel gave his what Liam now deemed his trademark embarrassed glance, “I saw Paul Simon back in the 1980s.” He said quietly.

Liam was impressed; he had expected something more out of left field. “That’s cool. I like him, as a solo artist and also with Garfunkel.”

Apparently now it was Gabriel’s turn to be surprised. “I have very eclectic taste when it comes to music.” Liam replied, turning his laptop screen showing the professor his music playlist. “Game time. I’ll buy the next coffee if you look at this list and recognize at least one band.”

Gabriel gave him a quizzical look but then half shrugged and leaned forward removing a pair of black frame glasses from his jacket pocket. Liam’s heart fluttered a split second as the professor put them on and looked at the screen. By the look on his face he was not confident in winning.

“If you need me to scroll let me know.” Liam said finger on his touch pad.

“Right ” Liam got the distinct feeling Gabriel had no idea what he meant so he scrolled very slowly “Oh there, Rolling Stones.” Gabriel replied cheerfully removing his glasses. Liam looked, _Rolling Stones - Sympathy For The Devil._

“Double or nothing, that was too easy. Everyone knows them.” Liam clicked a few things changing the list up and hiding any songs by The Beatles. “Now try.”

Gabriel exhaled donning his glasses again. He stared at the screen making odd expressions as he read over some of the names. “Barenaked...Ladies?”

Liam turned bright red, “It’s a band! I swear it’s a band.” Gabriel threw an amused looked at him. Another minute went by; Liam was starting to think he was going to win.

“Coldplay.” Gabriel said quietly.

“Hey you did it, well next coffee is on me then...Gabriel?” A pained sullen expression graced the older man’s face. “You okay?”

Gabriel did not appear to hear him, before Liam could do anything his Skype call alert beeped loudly again. “Damn it to hell Bryce!” Liam swore smacking his touch pad switching his status to Offline which he should have done much earlier.

Liam ran both hands through his hair massaging the top of his head trying to control the craving for nicotine clawing at him. He heard a soft throat clear.

 _Shit_.

Liam looked up, the sullen look on Gabriel’s face was gone as were his glasses replaced with concern and though Liam hoped it was wrong, fear. A quick glance around the room showed no one else. At least he had only an ass of himself in front of one person.

_If I could fly. Then I would know. What life looks like from up above and down below._

“My pain in the ass editor.” Liam said to the table top. “Sorry I should not have done that.”

_I'd keep you safe. I'd keep you dry. Don't be afraid Cecilia I'm the satellite._

Liam looked up to see Gabriel running his hand through his hair looking perplexed.

“Liam, I guess I’m confused. This program you have...Sky?"

“Skype.” Liam corrected.

“Skype. I’m not going to pretend I understand it but if you don’t want this Bryce person to bother you, why are you using the program?”

Liam sighed, it was a valid question. “I need it for work. I’m a freelance writer so I normally write from my loft. Skype allows me to message or call people. I send Bryce updates or whatever. He’s also...." Liam inhaled a sharp breath hoping to push down the knot in his stomach. "He’s also the reason I’m here.”

“He’s your ex?” Gabriel’s tone was gentle snd understanding, Liam really appreciate it plus he was glad Gabriel apparently remembered parts of their train conversation.

“He was...a mistake, a big mistake. Sadly I still have to work with the…” Liam held his tongue from his original word choice “…jerk.” He gave an uncomfortable throat clear.

“That must be difficult.” Gabriel said quietly. Neither spoke for what to Liam felt like an eternity. He knew Gabriel would have to leave for class soon and did not want Bryce to ruin his time with the professor whose company Liam was really enjoying.

The silence finally broke as Gabriel coughed.  
“Excuse me. And I’d been doing so well this morning.” He sighed.

“Asthma again?" Liam asked.

“Always. Autumn's dry air and ragweed make for an awful combination.” He looked away. "Gabe's bad lungs pay the price.

“I'm sorry.” Liam did not really know how to react but internally giggling at how Gabriel sometimes referred to himself in third person.

Gabriel shrugged, “Problem is once it gets started it’s hard for me...to..” His voice broke. Gabriel quickly pulled a handkerchief from his front pocket covering his mouth as he coughed again. Once again Liam began to hear that high pitched wheeze.

“Stop.” Gabriel said into his handkerchief. “Excuse me.”

“You don’t have to keep saying that.” Liam offered a smile.

Gabriel gave his trademark look, “Right.” He stuffed his handkerchief back into his pocket and looked at his watch. He said nothing but Liam could tell he internally cursed.

“I..uh..remember what I said about time?” Gabriel grabbed his coat. Liam watched the professor gather his things, a sinking pit feeling in his stomach still from his outburst.

“Will you be alright?” Gabriel asked, wrapping his scarf around his neck.

Liam flashed a fake smile, “Oh yeah, fine. If he starts again I’ll just block him.”

Gabriel looked confused, “I’ll assume that’s a good thing.” Reaching down he grabbed his briefcase, “Enjoy your day Liam.” He smiled and left but not before coughing once more into his sleeve.

Liam watched him walk through the door. Leaning back hard against the chair he cursed Bryce’s name as he turned Skype on.

 _I was busy and I’m a sabbatical what the hell you do want?_ His hands type angrily.

_Where the fuck have you been? You need to give me something, or else Chase is making me edit for Sarah. I can’t handle that shit._

Liam laughed. Sarah was an Anime blogger who often did stuff for Cordelia. Bryce detested Anime.

_Sorry again been busy, if I get something I’ll let Cordy know._

_How have you been busy? You’re in the middle of Nowhere City, Nowhere._

_I’m signing off now Bryce._

Liam didn’t even wait for the reply, just quit Skype and shut off his laptop. He’d had enough today.

 _Coldplay_. The look on Gabriel’s face was burned into his mind. He had wanted to ask but it was obvious Gabriel was a pretty private person. Plus hsving ust met the him, there wss no need to be prying into the poor guy's personal life.

 _When you try your best but you don’t succeed_. Liam quickly shook the lyrics from his head.

Throwing his bag over his shoulder, Liam walked up to the counter. Grace was behind it, she greeted him with an overly toothy grin.

“Does G...Professor Herondale com here every morning for coffee?” He inquired.

“Yep, well everyday he has class; I don’t think he has classes on Fridays this year.” Her voice annoyed Liam but he kept the fake smile on his face.

“And what does he get?” Liam had a good idea but wanted confirmation.

“Always black coffee, usually a medium.” Grace replied.

Liam reached for his wallet. “And how much is that normally?”

“$2.50 tax included.”

After some quick math, Liam tossed a ten dollar bill on the counter. “His next four are on me then.” He saw Grace’s surprised look. “And don’t tell him I did this.” Liam turned and headed out the door.


	4. Blue Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Liam learns just how bad Gabriel’s issues are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is a song by Cary Brothers. Comments appreciated!

After leaving the coffee shop, Liam tracked down the little grocery store for a few supplies; food, water, sundries. He didn’t have a huge selection to choose from, most were brands he'd never heard of but the store was empty minus the clerk which made Liam happy.

Supplies in tow, Liam returned to his housing. The apartment was clean to start with but Liam still made sure the tiny stack of magazines were orderly. The sink in the bathroom was clean and bed was made. When he finished cooking lunch, the kitchen looked like it hadn't been touched.

Sitting at the table eating his pasta, Liam’s mind wandered to his earlier conversation with Bryce. Truthfully, he knew Bryce didn't need anything from him, it was all manipulation. Sighing, Liam massaged his temples as the dull ache in his stomach rose again.

 _Stop thinking about him._ He rested his head against the table.

" _That must be difficult_." Gabriel’s voice echoed in his mind.

"You've no idea, Gabriel." Liam sat up with a sigh.

~~~~  
The next morning after about 2 hours of sleep, Liam headed back to the coffee shop. His night hadn't been peaceful as his memory decided to replay much of his and Bryce’s relationship. Coffee was needed today plus he hoped Gabriel would come since Liam felt oddly relaxed around him.

The professor's face when Liam stepped up to the counter wasn't something he would forget.

“You didn’t need to buy my coffee.” Gabriel said nervously. Liam smiled at the older man who today wore a pale blue sweater under a darker grey jacket. Liam noted the blue really made Gabriel’s eyes stand out.

“You won the bet.” Liam said not adding that he had paid for more days worth.

He watched as Gabriel shifted uncomfortably. “It’s just; I’m not used to people doing that for me. But thank you.” He added hastily before sneezing abruptly.

"Bless you." Poor _guy_. Liam thought.

“It looks like it’s going to be one of those days.” He sighed, sipping his coffee. "If it's not asthma then it's allergies."

Liam noted the grumble in Gabriel’s tone.

"You said yesterday you have bad lungs." Liam hoped Gabriel wouldn't misunderstand his curiosity.

"Well...” Gabriel looked down, his cheeks reddened, “it’s much like my personality. A little oversensitive.” He looked thoroughly embarrassed. “I’ve um...” He cleared his throat, “I’ve had poor lungs and sinuses since childhood, got worse as I got older, especially my allergies.”

Liam really felt for the older man now. “So you don’t just have seasonal allergies?” Liam asked, recalling Gabriel’s comment on the train. He tested to see how in depth Gabriel would go into his problems.

Gabriel scoffed, “If I only had seasonal allergies my life would be a lot better.” Liam also heard a bitter tone he was not used to. Gabriel brought his handkerchief out masking a cough.

“Along with the normal outdoor allergies I’m terribly allergic to cats.” Gabriel rolled his eyes as if he was remembering a particularly bad memory. “Dogs too but not as bad. I can’t be around anything fragrant or anything that I might perceive as an irritant. Dust obviously, you saw that. Perfume, cologne, cigarette or cigar smoke.” He sighed, “Sometimes even strong smelling soap or hand lotion bothers me. I can’t go into flower shops or stores that sell scented candles.” He took a sip of coffee.

Liam made a mental note about the cigarette smoke. He watched as Gabriel rubbed his nose absentmindedly. “Cold or dry air too, that’s probably the reason today. Who knows? I've gotten used to it, my issues are easily triggered." He propped his chin up with his hand looking mildly dejected.

Liam felt guilty; it obviously was not something the professor liked discussing. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up.” Gabriel waved him off.

“At least you asked, most people just give me bizarre looks or stare. I have to begin every semester asking my students not to wear any type of fragrant body spray, perfume, strong hand lotion, what not. Most understand, I sometimes have a few who forget. Then I have the delinquents who like to prank me.” He said with a heavy sigh.

Now it was Liam's turn to look confused. “Sorry I’m not following.”

Gabriel half shrugged, “Students spray perfume in my classroom when I’m out or conceal candles in my office and wait to see my reaction.” Gabriel coughed again. “Hasn’t happened in a few years since last time I reacted badly enough to be hospitalized.”

Liam’s jaw drop, “Oh my god, Gabriel!” What really pissed him off is what Gabriel described sounded exactly like something Bryce would do. He loved to play on people's weaknesses like picking at an open wound.

“Water under the bridge, Liam.” He said as he leaned his head against his fist.

Liam was starting to realize Gabriel was not looking too well. He did admit it was hard to tell given his complexion but today the professor had dark lines under his eyes. Liam frowned, a bit embarrassed that he had not noticed earlier when admiring Gabriel’s eyes.

“Gabriel are you feeling okay?” Liam asked. Gabriel returned a listless look then seemed to snap back to reality.

He flushed horribly, “Apologies Liam, I’m being a bit of a downer aren’t I. That was not my intention. I’ve been dealing with whatever’s bothering me since last night so I didn’t sleep too well.” He sat back up straight, sticking his handkerchief in his pocket and absentmindedly running his hand through his grey hair.

“I guess it would have been easier for me to ask what you’re not allergic too.” Liam smiled at him.

“Peanut butter.” Gabriel said offhandedly a small grin graced his face.

Liam momentarily forgot the professor was capable of making jokes. He laughed shaking his head. “Well I can’t eat shellfish which sucks because I love seafood.”

Gabriel stifled a laugh, “So no shrimp cocktails for you?” He sipped his coffee.

“Not unless you want to see me break out in hives.” Liam replied as the alarm on his phone went off.

“That’s not that awful Bryce person again is it?” Gabriel looked confused.

“Ah no, it’s the alarm on my phone, I set it so you wouldn’t have to worry about time getting away from you.” Liam found Gabriel’s expression of puzzlement, probably on how a phone could do that, and awkwardness the only thanks he wanted.

“I..” Gabriel paused eyes darting away, Liam wondered if he’d upset him somehow. “Thank you.” He finally said still not looking at Liam.

“I had to guess on the time so I could be really off.” Liam said as Gabriel pulled out his watch giving a hint of a smile.

“Excellent guess.” Gabriel put his watch back, “At least I won’t be rushing like normal.” He rose grabbing his coat, “So phones can have little alarms on them?” He asked looking oddly interested.

“One of the many features. Thinking of getting one now?” Liam asked optimistically as Gabriel put on his coat.

“Heavens no!” Gabriel chuckled, “I can barely operate my own computer.” His breath quickened, he pushed his nose against his sleeve. Gabriel held the position for another few seconds; Liam assumed he was fighting off whatever his allergies were causing. A moment later Gabriel sneezed again.

“Bless you Professor.” Someone shouted. Liam saw Gabriel wince.

“Tha-nk you.” He half stuttered over his shoulder, "Darn allergies." Liam heard him mutter under his breath. As he turned back, Gabriel knocked the coffee cup over. “Oh blast! It should be empty. Apologies.” His pale cheeks reddened.

Liam grabbed it, tossing it into the trash behind him. “No harm no foul. Have a good day Gabriel.”

Gabriel returned the pleasantries and left.  
Liam sat staring at the door for several minutes. This was the third conversation that had partaken with Gabriel and he had not even been here a week. At this point he knew more about the professor than some of his “friends” back in Newhaven. Liam turned his attention back to his laptop as his Skype window was blinking. He had made it a point to mute all sounds so Bryce would not be able to interrupt his morning with Gabriel. Against his better judgement he clicked the icon bringing up his messages. Liam sighed, ten new messages just from Bryce.

_Hey_  
_HEY!_  
_FUCKER ANSWER!!_  
_I know ur there..._  
_damnit Liam!_  
_LIAM!_

Liam clicked the window closed. He wanted nothing to do with Bryce. The calm he had felt around Gabriel dispersed the second he had opened that window, he would not do Bryce the courtesy of answering.

_Then I have the delinquents who like to prank me._

Liam cringed, packed up his things and left. Walking the cobblestone streets of Prim his thoughts slowly drifted back to Gabriel and those blue eyes.


	5. Shattered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Liam makes a very poor choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is from an O.A.R. song. Also very slight emeto mentioned in this chapter but it's vague as I don't like emeto so norhing will ever be graphic. Just fair warning if case anyone has issues. Comments appreciated!

Morning coffee with Gabriel became a regular routine for Liam over the next week. Gabriel met him on days he had class, they would chat for roughly an hour, maybe a little less depending on how late the professor was running. Liam always set his phone so he would not lose track of time. Liam admitted to himself later that Gabriel not being there on Fridays did not give him a reason for going. But he was a stickler for routine so just did not stay as long.

Liam found it amazingly easy to talk to the quirky teacher about things he normally did not discuss with anyone. However he still couldn't bring himself to discuss his anxiety. It hurt since Gabriel had shared so much with him. However, every time he tried to work it into the conversation his craving for nicotine would surface and he vowed not smoke around Gabriel.

 _I’ll have to tell him eventually or I’ll end up having a panic attack in front of him_. Liam pushed that idea from his head.

For today’s coffee Liam was nearly positive Gabriel was wearing the same three-piece grey suit he had adorned on the train ride but with a deep purple bowtie this time.

“Please? It’s fun. I promise this will be the last time I ask.” Liam smiled sweetly at the professor who sat arms crossed looking annoyed.

“Why do I always feel you’re secretly trying to embarrass me with this?” Gabriel sighed.

“Last time, this is the tie-breaker.” Liam turned his screen so Gabriel could see the playlist. Liam had successfully gotten Gabriel to play “Spot the Band” as he now called it again the other day. Rules were simple, Liam mixed 50 different bands, Gabriel had to recognize at least one. Liam had made sure to hide Coldplay from the list. As he had won the previous round so they were tied.

“Last time.” Gabriel said sternly, pulling out his glasses. Liam’s face lit up, secretly that was the reason he wanted to play the game. Gabriel seemed to need them anytime he looked at a screen.

Gabriel slowly read down the list. “Queen, there I win.” He said removing his glasses.

Liam frowned. “Coffee's on me next time.” He tried sounding pleasant. Truthfully he was concerned about Gabriel who seemed to be in quite the foul mood today.

“You okay?” Liam finally asked.

“Yes.” Gabriel said gruffly. “Does something always have to be wrong with me?”

Liam simply stared then turned his attention back to his laptop. “No. Sorry I asked.”

Apparently Gabriel had gotten the hint as he let out a heavy sigh. “Apologies Liam, my allergist put me on new medication. She neglected to tell me one of the side effects is apparently acting querulous.”

Liam raised an eyebrow at the word. Even being a writer Liam’s vocabulary was no match for the English professor's.

“Irritable.” Gabriel sighed again pinching the bridge of his nose. “Plus the fact I don’t think it’s working, I spent half the night miserable. Ragweed has been awful this year."

“You seem fine to me.” Liam said  
encouragingly hoping to raise the older man's spirits.

Gabriel only shrugged. A few awkward minutes later, the phone alarm went off.

“Enjoy your day.” Gabriel barely looked at him as he left.

“I hope you feel better Gabriel.” Liam responded but the professor was nearly out the door. Liam frowned; he could not help feel for Gabriel who probably just longed to be like everyone else. Well at least health wise. He had a sneaking suspicion Gabriel rather enjoyed not being connected to anything hence why he did not own a cell. It was then Liam noticed his Skype blinking.

_Fuck._

Against his better judgement Liam clicked the message from Bryce.

_Calling u tonight, 8ish. Answer._

A dull throbbing surfaced in his neck; he massaged it as best he could. He quickly packed up just so he could get outside and have a cigarette. Amazingly his latest pack had lasted much longer than any previous, he was apparently smoking less.

Liam was not surprised when 8:00 came and Bryce did not call. His ex was notoriously late and unlike Gabriel never apologized for it. Bryce did whatever he wanted on his time. Only Cordy seemed to have any authority over him. Truthfully, he did not care if Bryce was five or fifty minutes late, Liam did not wish to speak with him. When skype finally alerted him to an incoming call during his binge watch of _Breaking_ _Bad_ , it was well after midnight.

Sucking in a breath, Liam hit video chat.

"Hey babe!" Bryce's face popped onto the screen. His hair was bright orange this week. Liam held his breath slightly. As much crap Bryce had put him through, as stressful as he'd made Liam's life lately, there was no denying Bryce was stunning. Italian by heritage his skin tone was warm and flawless, paired with the deepest brown eyes Liam had ever seen. Bryce's normal hair color which Liam had only seen in pictures was black. Bryce donned an eyebrow bolt over his left eye as well as studs in both ears. At 24 his baby face often still got him carded; he barely looked 18. One of their first dates Bryce had been denied access to a club for forgetting his ID. Liam watched as him wove a sob story along with flashing his immaculate smile at the doorman who finally did let him in under the pretense he would not drink. Doorman was not aware Bryce knew the bartender. He was a master manipulator and hated to lose.

"You look like a pumpkin." Liam responded trying to ignore the ache growing in his stomach, he hated admitting he still harbored any feelings for the guy who cheated on him. “And don’t call me, babe. You cheated on me, remember?”

Bryce flashed what Liam referred to as his puppy face, Liam looked away, those eyes..., “What do you want Bryce?”

“I can’t just want to see you? I’ve missed you.” Liam internally melted and cringed at the same time. Don’t listen to him, don’t listen to him.

“Which translates to Simon dumped you.” Liam replied dryly.

Bryce laughed, “Please, I threw him out like yesterday's trash; boy had no style, though he was killer in bed.”

“Goodbye Bryce.” Liam said not really meaning it.

“C’mon babe! I’m just teasing; you know you’re the best.” Bryce pouted his lips at the camera.

Liam put his hands between his knees in an effort to stop the shaking. He felt this odd combination of rage and desire. It killed him after all Bryce had done he still wanted him. His chest tightened thinking about that.

“So,” Bryce continued leaning back casually in his chair, “You need to come back. I’ll even buy your train ticket. This sabbatical is stupid and you know it. You’re not the country type. Come back we’ll hit up _Dexter’s on Fifth_ or _Palisades_....make it _Palisades_ , the DJ there is fucking gorgeous....”

“Bryce!” Liam looked away, nausea rising in his throat. He got up quickly from the couch, pulling a cigarette out. He held it firmly in his mouth, not lighting it.

“Aww come back babe, I miss you.” Bryce’s tone had a mild sarcastic hint to it.

Liam’s heart raced, his palms were sweaty but he shivered. Grabbing the table for balance he pulled on his hoodie, hoping that would help. Finally he stumbled back to the couch.

“Bryce...” Liam started before lighting his cigarette. He inhaled deeply trying to calm his nerves. “What do you want?”

“I told you,” Bryce said playfully. “I miss you.” He held the last syllable in “you”.

“If you’re just looking for a bed warmer, call Xander.” Liam was having an incredibly difficult time keeping his voice steady, he took another drag. “I know full well this behavior of yours has nothing to do with me. Simon dumped you, probably said something to Neal who told everyone down at _Fifth’s_ and now you’re pissed. So that means its back to poor Liam and his shitty life, so you can feel better about yours and get back at Simon.” Liam was amazed he got that entire rant out without vomiting.

Liam was not sure what happened next except that Bryce threw a slew of cuss words at him that would have made a sailor blush. Liam returned it calling Bryce any name he could think of an a few made up ones. Tears stung his eyes while he paced around the table hurling accusations at his ex while chain smoking. Bryce shot back, calling Liam broken and worthless. Liam wasn’t sure who ended the call only that he was now staring at his ceiling fighting the urge to puke again. The room spun so moving was not possible. He pulled out his phone, time was 2:00am. God Bryce why. Liam rolled over shivering even in his hoodie, every breath pained him.

_Through all the things my eyes have seen. The best by far is you._  
_If I could fly. Then I would know. What life looks like from up above and down below._  
_I’d keep you safe, I’d keep you dry. Don’t be afraid Cecilia I’m the satellite._

Liam vigorously replayed the lyrics in his head as well as sucking on another cigarette. Sleep did not come Thursday night. Friday was not faring better. Even being a stickler for routine Liam could not physically get himself off his couch to go for coffee. It didn’t matter Gabriel would not be there. So he just lay, somehow getting to the bathroom in enough time when he finally did get sick.

The day dragged from dawn to dusk, the writer barely leaving the couch as a wave of dizziness overtook him each time. He craved a cigarette but his pack lay crumpled and empty.

 _Damnit, why did I answer his call?_ Liam had asked himself this at least a thousand times by now. Bryce was the cause of his stress, the cause of most of his anxiety lately, and Liam had still hit the freaking answer button. Friday drifted into night, Liam’s insomnia finally gave him a break and he managed a few hours of dreamless sleep, his last thoughts were of Gabriel.


	6. Namida

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Liam makes a big mistake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the break in uploads but this chapter required a lot of rework from the original. Chapter title is from my favorite song by SPITZ. Namida means tears in Japanese. Also this chapter containa my favorite scene in the whole story. 💜

Liam still wasn’t feeling 100% when he finally ventured out early afternoon on Saturday. Weather was cloudy and cool but it would get worse as October loomed. A few leaves stuck to the trees, but most littered the street in flashes of orange and gold. The few which clung desperately to their branches would soon join the others. Liam walked through the leaves taking a drag to calm his still shaky nerves then flicked the ashes. He was relieved the little drug store sold his brand of cigarettes, thanks to Bryce he had blown through the rest of his pack. Though at this point he'd have smoked any brand. Crushing it, he found a shop that he hoped sold outdoor gear. Liam needed gloves, apparently he’d forgotten a pair and he was sick of just sticking his hands into his hoodie pockets.

The door dinged as Liam walked in. _Does every place here have a bell?_ After scanning the small selection he found a pair. Purchase made he didn't ask for a bag, just stuck them on his hands; fingerless so he could still use his phone or type. Exiting the shop, Liam sighed. He really did not feel like going back to his housing, oddly it felt claustrophobic to him now, so he walked along the street, avoiding anyone he passed. He had overheard a few cafe patrons talk about a river so he decided to search it out. He found it as he passed the post office on the corner and decided to claim a bench near the edge. One reason Liam loved his loft so much was the view of the waterfront. Water always had a calmly effect on him and it was healthier than smoking.

Footsteps of people passing by sounded behind him, but Liam barely heard them. His focus was solely on the sound of the water splashing against the small rocks. True it wasn't the Newhaven waterfront but it was better than nothing. Sadly, even with the calming melody of the river his anxiety still bubbled near the surface. Liam was about to pull out another cigarette when he heard a familiar voice behind him.

“I didn’t see you at Grace’s yesterday morning.”

He turned surprised to see Gabriel, who was dressed in his familiar black coat and scarf. He did not look particularly well, the cold air chapped his nose, eyes looked watery and he was already holding a handkerchief.

“Gabriel? Well I...I wasn’t feeling too well yesterday.” Liam decided Gabriel would probably understand that better than anyone.

“Oh dear, nothing detrimental I hope?” Gabriel sat down looking concerned.

“No, no, nothing like that.” Liam was feverishly trying to think of an explanation. “Headache. Plus I didn’t think you’d be there since you don’t have class.” He was happy to see that Gabriel’s mood had improved.

“I don’t but...” The professor's voice cracked triggering a raspy cough. Gabriel wiped his eyes. “Apologies. A lady in the Post Office had perfume on. I was inside just...long...enough...” This time Gabriel sneezed.

Liam watched the professor desperately try to get a handle on his allergies. Gabriel’s eyes were squeezed shut as he seemed to will himself not to sneeze again. To Liam he looked oddly adorable.

“Right.” He finally said rubbing his nose furiously.

“Are you going to be okay, do you have any allergy medicine?” Liam asked.

Gabriel made a hiccup type laugh, “No but I’ll be fine.” He coughed again. "It'll pass. Simply need a bit of fresh air."

"Good." Liam forced a smile then turned his gaze back to the water.

"There's a little waterfall down this path. Would you like to see it?" Gabriel asked.

Had it been anyone else Liam probably would have declined but after not seeing Gabriel in over a day, the writer thought spending some non-coffee shop time with the professor might be nice.

"Sure. Lead the way." Liam replied.

The two walked the little worn path along the edge. Liam watched as Gabriel carefully stepped around the tree roots that curved out of the ground. Soon the path started down an incline and just as Gabriel said a waterfall had formed in the river. He wasn't joking either, it was tiny, barely two feet Liam thought. However, it made a lovely sound.

Liam stepped down off the path making his way down the incline to get closer. He turned to see if Gabriel was following. The professor looked uneasy as he cautiously began his way down. Truthfully it wasn't steep at all but given Liam had witnessed Gabriel trip walking into the coffee shop a few times, understood why he was being careful.

Gabriel made it down, looking rather please with himself which Liam found adorable.

Closing his eyes Liam concentrated on the soothing sound of the water again. He could tell Gabriel was attempting to keep his coughs quiet.

"Do you have your inhaler?" Liam asked looking over at Gabriel whose breathing was starting to sound constricted.

Gabriel pulled out his medicine but it slipped from his hand landing on the ground rolling a few feet away.

"Blast!" Gabriel said, Liam smiled at the professor's particular brand of cursing. The older man managed to retrieve the inhaler but as he walked back up to where Liam stood he tripped over a root. Doing almost a full 180° turn Gabriel couldn’t stop himself from landing awkwardly on the ground.

Liam jumped over helping him up.

“Thank you." Gabriel said then took a careful step back onto the path. "Dear me.” Liam heard him whisper. Gabriel gave a quick head shake, then brushed his hands over his coat few times trying to collect himself. He let out a long audible sigh of relief. Liam noticed he looked flushed but had a feeling it was due more to embarrassment than allergies.

Gabriel cleared his throat. “Sorry.” He looked around uncomfortably. “I, well, I’ve seem to have forgotten what we were talking about.” He said quietly.

That did it. Liam busted out laughing. He really did not know why he was laughing either, maybe it was a late response to the panic attack, maybe it was due to his severe lack of sleep, or maybe it was due to how adorable he found Gabriel at the moment but he bent over giggling madly. He heard a tiny gasp. Liam looked up, Gabriel’s expression anguished.

Liam frantically waved his hands, still bursting at the seams. “No...no...” he could barely get his breath, “I swear it’s not at you.” He tried standing up since his sides now hurt. “Gabriel I swear...” He looked up but the professor was gone. Reality punched Liam in the face.

 _Liam, you asshole!_ “Gabriel wait!” Liam called to the older man who was a good distance from the river bank. Liam ran after. “Gabriel please! I swear it wasn’t at you. I....” He was already short on breath from laughing, running was not helping. “Gabriel please, I’m so sorry, let me explain, please!” He saw Gabriel slow. “You don’t ever have to talk to me again after but please let me explain myself. Please!” He pleaded.

Gabriel stopped but kept his back to Liam who really was just glad the professor decided to listen. The problem now was Liam had to explain his anxiety and attacks; something he hated discussing. The thought alone was now actually causing him stress.

 _I’m going to owe him much more than just coffee for this._ “Look Gabriel, I...” Pain seized his chest but he needed to push through.

_If I could fly. Then I would know. What life looks like from up above and down below._   
_I'd keep you safe. I'd keep you dry. Don't be afraid Cecilia I'm the satellite._   
_And you're the sky._

“I swear I wasn’t laughing at you.” Liam panted from running and tightness. He wrung his hands together, “I...I had a really bad night on Thursday. I...well...” Try as he might Liam could not form the words. “I have some issues...difficult to explain.” His throat was starting to dry.

“It’s okay.” He heard Gabriel say quietly. Liam hated how miserable he sounded. “I was being over...”

“No!” Liam walked in front of the older man whose eyes were downcast. “You were not being oversensitive; I was being a goddamn ass!”

Gabriel ran his hands along his eyes,  
“I should be used to it by now.” He coughed slightly.

“Used to what?” Liam knew full well what he meant, his chest constricted.

“Being laughed at.” Gabriel sniffed.

Liam was not sure if it was possible to feel any worse than he did at this current moment. The knot in his chest was making it difficult to breathe his craving for nicotine shot back with a vengeance.

“I know I’m horribly awkward, I don’t understand a lot of today's technology, and I’m a walking stereotype.” Gabriel continued still averting his gaze from Liam. “I’m known as either that ‘clumsy teacher’ or that ‘weird teacher’. I’m not naive; I hear what people say about me. Even students, I get pranked in class or they call me Squeakers and Rudolph behind my back.” He swallowed hard.

“Squeakers?” It took Liam a microsecond to get the reference, “Ohhhh.” Gabriel inhaled, the high pitch squeak of asthma sounded. Liam bit his lip suppressing another laugh. This truly was not funny so why the hell was he acting this way?

“You’re trying not to laugh aren’t you?” The professor finally looked up at Liam; his blue eyes wet with tears that Liam knew weren’t from allergies.

“Gabriel,” Liam started but again any further words stuck in his throat.

Gabriel shook his head, wiping the tears, “I thought you might be different, Liam. Apparently I was wrong.” And with that he started walking again.

Liam wanted to call out but deep down he knew better. He told Gabriel he’d explain his actions, he had not and he in return upset the only person in this place he felt any kind of attachment too. He did not deserve another chance from Gabriel. Sighing, he pinched his eyes with his hand. Liam walked to a nearby bench even before he sat down a cigarette already lit and in his hand. He stared at the water silently hoping this pain he felt would drift away with the smoke.


	7. When You're Following An Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a major realization is made

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is a line in my favorite They Might Be Giants song called She's An Angel. As always comments are appreciated!

Liam spent the rest of the weekend either laying mindlessly on his couch, avoiding Bryce online or chain smoking. He had gone back to the river edge once in a sad effort that he would either see Gabriel or find some sort of peace. Neither of which happened. He debated for several hours during the night if he should go to the cafe. He knew Gabriel would show unless the professor suddenly decided to change his habits. Liam honestly would not blame him if he did.

 _I thought you might be different._ Those words stung more than any insult Bryce had ever thrown at him.

Monday morning Liam eventually packed up his laptop and headed out. The weather was quite cold, rain drizzling did not make it any more pleasant. Liam could see his breath as he walked. The cafe was crowded, do to the rain but Liam was glad to see the table he now deemed his was not occupied.

Liam went to the counter to order not looking forward to conversing with Grace.

“Latte again?” She said way too cheerfully for how early it was. Liam just nodded. “You’ll be happy to know that you paying for Professor Herondale’s coffee came in handy on Friday.” Liam involuntarily tensed when she said his name.

 _Spot the Band_. He remembered. “Oh?” He tried sounding casual while scrolling his phone.

“Yeah he'd forgotten his wallet; he does that sometimes. So he was grateful.” Grace flashed Liam a smile.

Liam forced his mouth to return one. “Good then.” _Why was he here on Friday?_

Grace handed him his latte. “Add the rest of this, minus my latte, to his tab.” Liam pulled out a $20 giving it to a rather stunned Grace Katherine and headed back to his table.

Liam stuck his earbuds in but lowered the volume on his player. For over a week he had not cared when that bell had rung announcing the coming or leaving of a customer, now it’s all he waited on hearing. He had a plan though, he would not try to converse with Gabriel, just observe. Liam had given him the option to never talk to him again and wasn’t about to break it. So he watched the regular patrons get their coffee, chit chat, or sit, whatever normal people did. He glanced at his phone. Gabriel normally showed up before 7:30am, it was nearly 9:00am. _Maybe he really did change his habits._ Liam sighed.

Just as he debated on packing up the door dinged and in walked Gabriel. Liam propped his head against his hand but kept his eyes up so he could watch and hopefully not be acknowledged. Gabriel did not seem to notice him; he looked particularly frazzled this morning. The rain must have picked up since his hair was dripping.

“Everything okay Professor?” Grace asked.

“No,” Gabriel said miserably. His voice sounded hoarse to Liam. “My heat went out last night. I’m paying for it today. Coffee plea....” Gabriel barely got his handkerchief to his mouth masking a cough.

“Oh no. You should call off class if you’re sick.” Grace replied and set the coffee on the counter.

“I’ll be fine. However, don’t expect a lot of talk from me today in class.” Gabriel give her a weak smile. He reached for his wallet, Liam held his breath.

“Oh, it’s been taken care of.” Grace said.

Liam could not help but look up just over this monitor at the confused professor. He silently cursed at Grace as her eyes looked directly at him which made Gabriel turn. Liam averted his gaze but could still see the two in his peripheral vision. He could not read Gabriel’s expression which was odd since the older man normally wore what he was feeling on his face.

“Well then.” Gabriel replied tightly. Liam’s chest ached as his heart beat against it. Gabriel took his coffee bid Grace a good day and left. Liam squeezed his eyes shut; he gripped the back of his neck with his left hand, massaging the knot in his neck.

He heard a small throat clear. Looking up quickly he tried to hide the disappointment in seeing Grace.

“Hi.” She said nervously pushing her black hair behind her ears. “Listen, I don’t know what happened between you and Professor Herondale.”

“Nothing happened. I barely know the guy.” Liam refused to look at her.

“Right.” He could tell she didn't believe him. “Well I’ve known him for several years, he’s been coming here since he started teaching and I’ve never seen him actually talk with another person like he does with you.” She paused, “Well one other guy but I haven’t seen him in ages.”

Liam bet his next paycheck she meant the guy in the picture.

“He wasn’t from around here anyways. What I’m saying is Professor Herondale doesn’t have many friends, even the other teachers think he’s weird. They’re polite to him but that's about as far as it goes.

_I’d keep you safe, I’d keep you dry._

“You’ve done more in a few weeks then I’ve done....well...ever.” Liam detected a hint of remorse. “Anyways, I just wanted you to know that.” She started back to the counter. “Oh and he likes lemon tea when he's sick.” She added before going in the back.

Liam got the hint; maybe Grace wasn’t so bad after all. Packing up his laptop, he went searching for a store that carried lemon tea.

The little grocery store did not sell tea but according to the person behind the counter there was a tea shop a street over that carried all varieties. Liam sprinted to Lily’s Tea Shop. Panting as he entered the aroma of tea was overwhelming. He wondered how Gabriel even managed in a place like this. Not knowing a darn thing about tea other than instant, he asked for assistance. A clerk about his age with shoulder length brown hair wearing an Avengers shirt directed him.

“Is this for Professor Herondale?” The guy asked.

Liam was taken back slightly. “Uh yeah why?”

“I figured. I was in his class a few years back, nice guy just...” The guy tilted his head and glanced upwardly.

“Yeah I know.” Liam said softly.

“Anyways, since it’s difficult for him to come in here, if he needed any he’d ask me to bring some. I didn’t mind, felt badly for the guy. He still emails me every now and then for a refill. I figured he must have just asked you this time.”

 _He thinks I’m a student_ , Liam played along. “Ah yeah he did, thanks for the help.” Lemon tea purchased, Liam quickened his pace to Davenport College. He glanced at his phone, it was nearly 11:00am, Liam figured Gabriel would be in class. Suddenly a thought dawned on him; he had no way of giving the tea to Gabriel. Liam knew he locked his office. He could just leave it outside the door or at this apartment, but what if Gabriel didn’t see it.

Mid-thought Liam heard two people approaching, he ducked behind a nearby tree to avoid them.

“Hear Professor Squeakers is sick again?” The male said in a tone that did not please Liam.

“Good, maybe he’ll cancel Early 20th Century History, that class is so boring.” The girl replied while looking at her phone.

Liam stayed behind the tree until they were well past mostly because he could not physically move. Hunched over his chest burned and sweat beaded around his hairline. He rubbed it off with the sleeve of his hoodie. He fought his craving by digging his fingers into the wet grass. But it did not help. Cigarette out and lit, he pulled hard on it, holding then exhaling watching the smoke drift above his head.

 _Liam you can’t keep doing this._ He said inwardly. _Gabriel can’t know you smoke._

_If I could fly. Then I would know. What life looks like from up above and down below._

Finding his strength again, Liam pushed himself up deciding he would simply come back later after all classes were out. He had heard Grace say days ago that most sessions were out by 4:30pm. Liam killed time by setting up his laptop inside a bistro that faced the river; at least he could watch the water. Sadly around lunchtime it got too crowded for him so he just went back to the spot he’d made the biggest mistake of his life. Well second biggest, Bryce was still the first. Rain began to fall, the drops making little circles in the slow moving river. He still had time, Liam quickly ran back to his housing to drop off his laptop. About half way there the sky just opened, soaking his hoodie. Thankfully the laptop was still dry as he removed it from the bag. Liam debated on changing but then came to the conclusion as he started back to the college; he was already soaked, so why bother. Liam was about to duck under an overhang near Gabriel’s office but he noticed something on the building which housed his apartment. Running over, he frowned seeing the note on the door.

_Heater still out. Estimated repair time two days. Sorry for any inconvenience. -Management_

_Wonderful_. If Gabriel had sounded that bad just from one night Liam shuddered to think what two more would do to the poor guy. Liam decided to see if Gabriel was actually in his office since it was nearly 4:30. He would simply give him the tea and leave. Entering the dungeon, Liam ruffled his hair shaking off the rain. Rounding the corner to the office, the door was closed and he did not see any lights. Liam sighed, as he took the bag containing the tea out of his pocket he heard footsteps followed by a familiar cough. He was no expert but that sounded worse than anything he had heard from Gabriel previously.

Liam heard a thunk against the ground, sounded like a briefcase. He slowly looked around the corner. Gabriel was hunched over, face buried in his overcoat sleeve coughing, briefcase at his feet.

Liam swallowed hard. Gabriel looked ghastly; he was whiter than what Liam assumed was humanly possible. His eyes had a glazed over exhausted look. Gabriel barely moved before another cough overtook him.

Gabriel leaned back sliding down the wall. Liam forgot all about the tea and rushed to his side.

“Gabriel.” Liam bent down. Gabriel’s eyes strained as if he was having a hard time focusing. But when they did a very prominent glare fell on Liam.

“Gabriel...I” Liam was cut off by the loud ringing of the phone in the office which made him jump. When he turned back, Gabriel was already up but leaning against the wall. Liam let him go into his office before he moved to the doorway.

After clearing his throat repeatedly, Liam noticed he winced each time, Gabriel picked up the phone.

“Gabe Herondale.” The throat clearing had not helped. “Yes sir. I’ll be fine. Yes. I know. I know. Yes. Goodnight.” Gabriel hung up the phone then collapsed into the chair behind the desk. Liam decided it was now or never. He walked in removing the tin of tea, from the bag in his pocket, placing it on the desk.

“Here.” Liam was having a hard time finding his own voice, “I hope you feel better Gabriel.” He gave a sympathetic smile. Gabriel did not react. Liam turned and started back down the hall.

Exiting, he was at least happy the rain had stopped. He was several strides away from the office as he reached into his pockets for a cigarette he felt a pull on his hoodie. Liam turned around a bit shocked to see Gabriel out of breath standing behind him.

“Sorry.” His voice was barely a whisper. “I couldn’t yell your name. I...” He did not get to finish. Gabriel pulled out his inhaler and shook it before taking a puff.

“Dear me, I need to go home and get a new one.” Gabriel said.

“You need to go home!” Liam barked so hard his voice cracked.

Gabriel gave a humorless laugh, “Not possible I’m giving an exam tomorrow, I need to..." He paused to cough. “Finish typing up the questions.”

“Gabriel,” Liam was trying to reason with him, “You’re going to give yourself pneumonia. You shouldn’t even be standing out here.”

“I’ll be fine.” Gabriel’s voice barely formed the last word. “I’ll be...” Gabriel swayed, Liam quickly he got under him before the professor regained his composure. “Sorry, little dizzy.”

Liam felt Gabriel lean on him.

“Pack up we’re going to my place.” Liam stated firmly. He started helping Gabriel back into the office building.

“Liam, it's fine, I’ll just do my work from my....” He turned away from Liam to cough. “Apologies. From my flat."

“Wrong answer, the heat is still out. I should have mentioned that.” Liam heard a groan. Back in the office Liam told Gabriel to take anything he’d need for his test. Reluctantly the professor agreed. Liam put the tea back in his pocket and together they started for Liam’s housing. Liam was not going to lie to himself, he was freezing. His light hoodie already soaked from earlier was sticking to his body. He knew Gabriel was cold too, the older man had been trying to hide it since the office but he was shivering. Liam was at least happy he had a heavier coat on.

_If I could fly. Then I would know. What life looks like from up above and down below._  
_I’d keep you safe, I’d keep you dry. Don’t be afraid Cecilia I’m the satellite. And you’re the sky._

“What are you humming?” He heard Gabriel whisper. Liam realized it was not just in his head this time.

“Just a song.” Liam stayed close to Gabriel just in case another dizzy spell happened. Liam was relieved when they finally reached the house; helping Gabriel climb the stairs to the second floor. Inside was comfortable, Liam had not tried to turn the heat up since he’d arrived, and today he was going to find out.

Gabriel removed his coat which Liam hung in the shower along with his drenched hoodie. He changed his shirt and grabbed a blanket from off the bed returning to Gabriel who was shivering on the couch. “Here.” Liam handed him the blanket. The relief on the professor's face as he wrapped it around his shoulders melted Liam. Today Gabriel just had on a white button up shirt, dark green bow tie and grey cardigan. “I’ll see if I can turn the heat up too.”

Liam was pleased he was able to adjust the heat. “I’ll be right back.” Liam said walking into the adjacent kitchen.

He searched the small kitchen for a kettle, finding one in the very last cabinet of course. Now he had a new problem, the tea he had bought for Gabriel had actual leaves not a bag so he needed a steeper. Liam tore through the drawers; he gave an audible laugh when he found one.

“Liam?” Gabriel’s gravelly voice made Liam wince.

“Hold on.” Liam replied, hearing Gabriel cough again.

Liam really did not like how raw Gabriel’s coughs sounded, like it was scrapping the back of his throat. The kettle finally whistled, Liam grabbed a mug putting the lemon tea in the steeper then poured the water over it, that much he’d known from Cordy. He let it sit for a minute then returned to Gabriel handing him the mug. Liam saw his bowtie was gone, the top shirt button undone.

Gabriel flashed his trademark embarrassed look but then took the mug. Liam noticed he had stopped shivering. After a long drink, Gabriel thanked him.

Liam sat in the chair opposite the couch and booted up this laptop.

“You should have some.” Gabriel whispered bringing his hand to his mouth coughing again.

Liam didn’t look up from his laptop. “Never cared for tea much.” He got up grabbing his portable scanner from his computer bag. “Ok this is going to save you from having to re-type everything.” A thought occurred to him. “If you have Word why don’t you just type out questions on that?” Liam’s question was answered as Gabriel looked away blushing.

“I..uh,” He gave a quick throat clear, “I don’t know how to print. I can barely figure out the Xerox machine for copies.”

“Okay that’s understandable. Sadly I don’t have a portable printer, well not with me.” Liam exhaled leaning his chin against his hand. “If we were closer I could send this to my home printer but that doesn’t help us....something wrong?” Liam looked up to see the older man giving him an unreadable look.

“Oh, I...” Gabriel’s fingers drummed the mug, “I thought you’d laugh at me again.” He said quietly looking down.

Liam ran his hands through his dirty blonde hair. “Gabriel.” He paused, a small knot formed in his stomach, he drew a breath. “I will never laugh at you again.” He said locking eyes with the professor.

Gabriel closed his eyes, his lips parted into a relaxed smile. “I misjudged you.”

Liam was not about to let himself off that easily. “No you didn’t, I’m a horrendous asshole which I choose to show at the most inopportune times.”

“I don’t believe you.” The seriousness of Gabriel’s tone and look made Liam stop typing. “I think you use that as a blanket excuse for your personality; like I use oversensitive. You do think before you speak, yes, but a lot of people do that. You’re also young; you’re influenced by your peers, Bryce for example.” Liam cringed at the name. “Maybe you call yourself that to keep from getting close to people or vice versa but if you really were a ‘horrendous asshole’ as you so eloquently put it, you would not have helped me on the train, you would not have got my inhaler or bought me coffee. I wouldn’t be sitting here right now with my favorite tea; I’d be suffering in my frozen flat...alone.” He choked out that word and quickly looked away from Liam.

Liam was so engulfed by Gabriel’s words it took him a few moments to realize Gabriel’s was sniffling more. Liam got up but Gabriel cut him off, “Can I-I use your b-b-athroom.” His raspy voice shaking.

“End of the hall.” Liam could see fresh tears glistening in Gabriel’s blue eyes, who nodded thanks, dropped the blanket and rushed down the hall. Although he knew he wasn’t really to blame this time he had now successfully made Gabriel cry twice in barely two days.

With the bathroom not being very far either Liam could hear Gabriel too which made him incredibly uncomfortable, Gabriel altered between sobbing, sneezing and coughing. Liam felt like he was inadvertently eavesdropping so he grabbed the mug and walked into the kitchen. It was a good ten minutes before he heard the door open. As bad as Gabriel looked in his office hallway he now topped it. His eyes were all puffed up and red; his grey hair a mess. He clutched the tissue box from the bathroom as he walked back into the living room past Liam and sat back on the couch pulling the blanket back over his shoulders.

“So,” He had to clear his throat twice before his hoarse voice would cooperate, “Not that I’ll understand any of it but explain how that contraption,” He pointed to the scanner, “is going to help me?”

Liam just looked at him, “Gabriel...” But the older man shook his head.

“Please let’s just do this, please.” Gabriel grabbed a few tissues covering a sneeze.

Liam consented putting the fresh tea in front of the professor. Sitting down, he flipped his laptop around plugging the scanner into a USB port. He then reached for Gabriel’s briefcase handing it to him. “Whatever that is going to be on the test give to me.” Liam did not even have to guess the look Gabriel was probably giving him. Liam was handed several pages of typed questions.

“Basically I’m going to put the papers through this little device and it’s going to transfer what's on the page to my laptop.” Even using the simplest explanation he could think of the look on Gabriel’s face was clear confusion. Liam smiled, “Okay let me try again.” He thought for a second, “Do you know what a fax machine is?”

Gabriel looked at the ceiling. “Partially.” He barely got his cluster of tissues in time coughing again.

“I hate tissues.” He muttered before taking a sip of tea.

“Sorry.” Liam apologized.

“My fault, I’m just being cantankerous.” Gabriel sighed sipping again.

Liam stifled a giggle, “I like that word. Anyways about the fax machine.” Liam did his best to explain the basic principle of a fax machine and how the scanner basically did the same thing. “So instead of going to another fax machine, the data goes to my laptop. Get it?” He asked running the pages through the scanner.

“I’ll just lie and say yes.” Gabriel sighed; he was really starting to look tired to Liam.

“You’re sick I shouldn’t be throwing all this at you.” Liam turned the laptop screen so Gabriel could see it. “There, everything you just gave me.” He grinned as Gabriel pulled out the black frame glasses and peered at the screen.

Gabriel’s jaw dropped. “How...how did you do that?” He looked from Liam back to the screen, to Liam, to the screen.

“From now on I’m just saying ‘magic’ if you don’t mind.” Liam replied. "Anyways, now that all the questions are in feel free to add whatever else you want.” Liam leaned back against the couch.

Gabriel shifted uneasily. “I really shouldn’t be touching your computer.” His voice even quieter.

“Fair enough. Well you could dictate to me but you probably shouldn’t be talking either.” Liam got up off the couch entering the kitchen. “I’ll clean the keyboard later so go do that voodoo that you do so well.”

It was beyond obvious Gabriel did not get the reference, he only half shrugged and began typing. Liam swore he heard the professor mutter something about preferring his typewriter which made Liam smile.

In the kitchen Liam looked in the refrigerator, he was starving; his phone indicated it was after 6pm. Problem was he didn't have enough for both him and Gabriel.

“I’m going for food, what do you want?” Liam asked as he went back to the living room. The professor looked up over his glasses at Liam and thought.

“Pizza. Don’t care what’s on it.” He said looking back at the screen. Liam was glad Gabriel couldn’t see the shock on his face. Not what he was expecting from the proper teacher at all. Liam whipped out his phone dialing the number of a place he had ordered from a few days ago then grabbed another sweatshirt from the bedroom.

“Ok I’ll be back in a bit.” Liam headed for the stairs.

“Liam...” He turned back to Gabriel who was looking at the couch cushion. “About the other day, please forgive my actions.”

Liam blinked. “What exactly are you sorry about? I’m the one who made you...” _Cry._ Liam decided against saying that, “...upset. Don’t apologize for my behavior. I won’t be forgiving myself anytime soon for that.”

“I know but...” Gabriel started but Liam cut him off.

“Gabriel,” Liam walked back over and locked eyes with the grey haired professor with those magnificent blue eyes. He looked at the only person he cared about here, the only person he felt comfortable around. He looked at Gabriel Herondale and his heart skipped. “Don’t ever apologize for being you.”

Gabriel’s eyes widened while he turned the deepest shade of red possible.

“I’ll be back.” Liam turned heading down the stairs and out the door for the pizza place. He could not contain the smile on his face.

 _You’ve done it this time, Liam. You’ve fallen for an older man._ Liam shook his head almost not believing it himself.

_If I could fly. Then I would know. What life looks like from up above and down below._  
_I’d keep you safe, I’d keep you dry. Don’t be afraid Gabriel I’m the satellite._  
_And you’re the sky._


	8. Just By Mistake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a few things are learned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is a line from the Natalie Merchant song, Jealousy.

Liam returned, along with pizza, cough drops and cold medicine for Gabriel.

“I wasn’t sure of your symptoms so I just got something that covered everything.” He handed the box to Gabriel who looked uncomfortable. Liam refilled the tea so the professor was able to take the medicine. Gabriel typed and ate, Liam scrolled his phone and ate. 

Finally after almost an hour, Gabriel leaned back against the couch exhaling. “Finished. I really should have done these days ago; I did not anticipate my heat going out.” He said with a cough.

Liam sat down turning the laptop back to him making sure everything Gabriel had just typed physically saved then transferred it to a USB drive. Now the problem of how to print everything came back into play. Liam thought of something.

“Does the college have a computer lab?” He asked Gabriel.

“Remember who you’re asking.” Gabriel replied massaging his forehead. He sounded tired.

Liam moved back to the chair. “Lay down.” But Gabriel shook his head.

“I really should go back to my flat, I can’t keep impeding on you, Liam.” His voice cracked a bit.

“Don’t be stubborn. One, you’re not impeding anything. Two, I doubt you could get down the stairs before you collapse. Three, you still need me to print this.” Liam said while checking off on his fingers.

Gabriel conceded, laying down and pulled the blanket over him. “I’ll just rest my eyes.” Liam didn’t even have to count to ten before he knew the professor was asleep. He grabbed the larger comforter off the bed and covered Gabriel with it.

Liam passed the time writing; he was amazed he actually had inspiration lately. He also threw both his hoodie and Gabriel’s coat in the downstairs dryer. After spending out 20 minutes in the laundry room he returned to his apartment. Liam set the professor’s coat over the chair. He was about to sit back at his laptop when he noticed Gabriel shivering even beneath the two blankets. Liam knelt down beside the couch. Sweat beaded on Gabriel’s forehead. Liam gently placed his hand on the older man’s forehead. Oh yeah he has a fever. Liam ran into the kitchen grabbing a jar of Advil shaking two into his hand. Back over to the couch he hated to wake Gabriel up but knew his fever needed to come down.

“Gabriel.” Liam whispered, gently nudging his shoulder. “Gabriel, I need you to sit up quickly.”

The professor groaned, pulling the blanket closer around him.

“It’ll only take a minute, you have a fever, and I need you to take medicine.” Liam nudged him again.

Gabriel sat up not opening his eyes; Liam adjusted the blanket so it would not fall off his shivering patient. “Here.” Liam placed the Advil in Gabriel’s hand who managed to get them in his mouth. Liam then handed him a glass of water. “There, you’ll feel better soon.”

“Thank you Michael.” Gabriel mumbled sleepily.

Liam froze, nearly dropping the glass he had taken back from Gabriel. The older man lay back down as Liam struggled to find his breath. Michael. He quickly recovered Gabriel with the comforter then tore down the stairs, not even bothering putting his hoodie on. Stumbling outside he grasped for air. Leaning up against his door Liam realized he'd left his cigarettes inside. The sweat on his face stung against the chilling night wind. Michael. It was all he could think about. After several minutes nearly freezing his ass off, Liam found his way back inside. He did not even remember climbing the stairs, only staring at Gabriel from the chair until sleep finally came to him.

*****  
Liam jolted awake around 4:00am, momentarily confused on why he was in a chair not on the couch. Then everything hit him like a truck. Michael. It had to be the person in the picture. Liam balled his fists together; he did not feel like having another panic attack. Instead he paced trying hard not to think about what Gabriel had said in his fevered state, which only made him think about it more. Truly Liam had never asked Gabriel about the photo and Gabriel had never given him any hints he was with someone. He lived alone, that was obvious and Grace stated he didn’t have many friends.

Well one other person but I haven’t seen him in ages. Grace’s words rang in Liam’s head. So an ex maybe? Really did it matter at this point? All Liam knew is at some point Gabriel had probably dated this Michael person and recently enough to cause confusion for the poor professor in his state. After nearly making himself sick again Liam decided it would not help his anxiety at all to dwell on it. He sat back down in the chair passing the rest of the early morning staring at the only person he really cared for at this moment all while ignoring the pain in his chest.

*****  
Liam was not sure if the professor was actually awake or not, but Gabriel had continuously rubbed his nose for the past minute. His hand reached out from under the blanket pawing for what Liam assumed was a handkerchief. Not finding one, Gabriel opened his eyes. Liam desperately tried not to laugh as the confusion of where he was got the better of him. Gabriel looked around the room then at Liam and it finally struck him. Flushing horribly Gabriel shrunk back under the blanket.

“Oh no. No. Tell me I didn’t fall asleep on your couch.” A muffled voice said. 

Liam giggled.“I wasn’t about to let you go back to your place, you know.”

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” Liam noted Gabriel’s voice sounded better. “I told you I was just going to rest my eyes.”

“Sorry, but I have a rule; sick people get to sleep.” Liam sat back in the chair.

Gabriel groaned pulling the blanket down. Liam was always impressed how hard the older man could blush.

“How are you feeling?” Liam asked hoping Gabriel did not notice the slight anxiety in his voice.

The professor sighed sitting up pulling the blanket around him. “You probably won’t believe me, but better.” He ran his hand over face. “I do remember being very cold last night though.”

Liam swallowed hard, “Yeah you had a pretty high fever.” He forced his voice to cooperate. “I managed to get you to take some Advil.” The ache in his chest suddenly rising.

Gabriel looked surprised, “I don’t even remember that.” He said with a slight cough. “You have my gratitude.”

He doesn’t remember! Liam seriously was so relieved he nearly fell out of his chair. The pressure lessened, he would deal with whoever Michael was at a later date.

“What time is it?” Gabriel stretched suppressing a yawn.

Liam looked at his phone. “A little after 6:00am.”

“So how are you so darn chipper already?” Gabriel asked, throwing Liam a half glare.

Liam drummed his fingers together, “I have insomnia so sleep doesn’t always happen. I got about two hours.” Liam did not like the worried look on Gabriel’s face. “But it's fine, I’ve learned to live with it.”

The professor did not react for a moment; Liam shifted uncomfortably. “That’s not something you should just ‘learn to live with’ Liam.” Gabriel finally said seriously.

Liam shrugged, “Not a big deal.” He sighed, “Anyways I’ve figured out how we’re going to print your test.”

Gabriel frowned, “You’re not getting off the hook that easily.”

Liam gave a tired laugh, “Gabriel after we’re done with this and you’re well, feel free to lecture the hell out of me, I’ll sit like a good pupil and listen. But for now let’s focus on the task at hand.” He motioned to the laptop. “I found the computer lab by searching Davenport’s homepage, apparently it’s in the basement of Campbell Hall...will you please stop giving me that look!”

Gabriel sat hands folded with what Liam could only describe as a “disappointed teacher” look; like he'd forgotten to turn in homework. Liam ran his hand through his hair then looked back up at Gabriel.

“You said you had a bad night on Thursday...”  
Gabriel started but then his voice trailed off.

“I did and one day I’ll explain all my little idiosyncrasies but for now just tell me where Campbell Hall is.” Liam said, trying to keep the frustration from his voice.

Gabriel took a few tissues. “I’m holding you to that.” He replied then coughed into them. “I really do feel better today. I’m sure it’s hard to tell.” He gave a weak laugh. “I just need to get through today. I never have classes on days after exams so if I make it through today and I can go home and hibernate until Monday and hopefully recuperate from this cold. I know I take a plethora of sick days but I’ve never missed an exam.” His tone tightened, “But the Dean of Students always feels the need to call me, reminding me to be there, just in case. Because we need to make sure Gabe’s health doesn’t interfere with exams.” He sighed which turned into a small cough. “And I’m babbling, I do that occasionally.” Gabriel blushed slightly.

“I know, you said that on the train.” Liam replied a small smile graced his face.

“Do you remember every conversation you have with someone?” Gabriel asked with a sigh.

Liam shrugged, “I need to remember details, get some alcohol in me and I might forget a few things though.”

“Oh so all I need to do is get you drunk and you’ll spill all your dirty little secrets?” Gabriel eyed him.

Now it was Liam’s turn to blush horribly. “D-don’t say it like that!”

“I’m joking. I know it’s hard to tell sometimes.” Gabriel coughed. “We all have things we don’t want to talk about.” Liam noticed Gabriel tense as he said this. Gabriel rubbed his eyes, “Apologies, I need coffee, I promise I become more pleasant after I have some.”

“I only have the lemon tea at the moment. Want some?” Liam got up as he saw Gabriel nod. Tea brewed, Liam also made some eggs and toast so Gabriel could take more cold medication.

“Might I trouble you for your phone?” Gabriel asked, setting his mug down. The look he gave as Liam held out his cell was not something the writer would soon forget. A great mixture of horror and embarrassment making the professor look away blushing. “A real phone I mean.”

Liam chuckled, “Just give me the number.” He pressed the numbers to Gabriels' flat office and hit “Call”.

“There should be an automatic response about the state of the heater repair.” Gabriel barely got the sentence out as his voice cracked.

The message kicked on stating the heat was in fact repaired.

“Hallelujah hot water again.” Liam watched the older man relax against the couch. “What time is it?”

“6:30.” Liam said, glancing at his phone. He was trying very hard to hide his disappointment that Gabriel wouldn’t be staying with him again. Liam, stop moping that his heater was fixed, be grateful he won’t be freezing tonight. Liam decided to ignore the voice in his head.

Gabriel obviously didn’t notice this. “Right good, just enough time to go home, change, get coffee and print out my test.” Liam could not help notice the professor’s mood had improved since the heater news.

Liam handed Gabriel his coat and scarf then threw on his hoodie. The chill in the air made Liam’s lungs hurt. He glanced over at Gabriel hoping he was warm enough.

“You really need a better coat Liam.” Gabriel looked over at him. “That little music hoodie is not going to keep you warm this winter. Trust me I’ve lived here long enough to know.”

“Not really a coat person.” Liam said, trying to keep his teeth from chattering. He heard Gabriel scoff. Together they walked to the flat. The blast of warm air as they walked through the door was a definite improvement.

“It’s a bit of a mess.” Gabriel apologized while removing his coat. Liam thought “a bit” was an understatement. This was fullon clutter. Liam hadn't really noticed it when he'd come for the inhaler but looking around, this was actually making him anxious.

“I might dress like Felix Unger but sadly I do not share his need for cleanliness.” Gabriel said walking down the hall into his bedroom.  
Liam just looked around. It was not bad honestly, he had seen worse, there was just stuff everywhere, much like Gabriel’s office. Books and papers piled on tables, a few pizza boxes on the counter and dishes in the sink. Liam already knew what Gabriel’s kitchen table looked like.

“Yeah...I see...wait...” Something Gabriel had said struck him. “Did you just reference The Odd Couple?”

Behind his bedroom door, Liam heard Gabriel whistle the first few bars of the TV show theme. Liam laughed out loud, “Gabriel, there is hope for you yet!”

“Don’t count on it.” Gabriel replied. Liam laughed again, it felt good. He glanced over at the photo on the table next to the door. Oddly it was facing down. Liam decided not to look at it just in case Gabriel came out.  
The professor emerged, new shirt, new tie, same sweater, overall he looked better than he had previously. He didn't appear as pale and tired as he had in the office hallway. Gabriel also wasn’t coughing as much; Liam hoped this meant the medicine he bought was working.

“I just need to get through today.” Gabriel repeated, to Liam it sounded like the professor was trying to psych himself up. Liam watched as Gabriel pulled out his watch. “I know we’re on campus but I require coffee.”

“You go do that I’ll find Campbell Hall.” Liam said putting some magazines in a pile.

Gabriel sighed, looking away. “I never did tell you where it was did I?” 

“Well I looked at the college map but it desperately needs to be updated, awful quality.” Liam straightened a few books on a shelf.

“Could you stop cleaning my flat?” Gabriel chuckled.

Liam threw a confused look at the older man then realized what he was doing. “Sorry.” He muttered, “Didn’t even notice it. I’m not OCD honestly. I just like clean.” He shrugged.

“You and I could be The Odd Couple.” Gabriel said nonchalantly stuffing his inhaler in his coat. Liam was beyond happy the professor was not looking at him and how red his face was.

After Gabriel told him how to find Campbell Hall, the two split up, agreeing to meet at Baker Hall where the exam was.

Davenport’s computer lab was about what Liam expected but the computers were fairly new and thankfully had USB ports. Liam printed out the exams Gabriel had asked for then made his way to Baker. Standing just inside the door he watched as Gabriel finally made his way up the steps.

Liam was rather surprised at the scowl gracing Gabriel’s face. “Am I ever going to procure my own coffee again?” He handed Liam a latte. The writer smirked. Entering the classroom it looked like any other; a desk in front, about 25 chairs, a chalkboard which Liam bet money the professor actually used. After putting the exams on the desk, he turned to find Gabriel facing him.

“You didn’t bring your laptop? How did you print my exams?” He gave a quizzical look. 

Liam pulled his USB drive from his hoodie.  
“Magic.” He replied simply.

Gabriel rolled his eyes making Liam giggle. “Listen Liam,” Gabriel started after a moment Liam saw him flush. “You exceeded in supporting me the past two days. I...I really appreciate it.” He rubbed his nose. “I don’t know how I can repay you.”

Liam shrugged, “You don’t have to. It was nothing.”

“It was not nothing.” Gabriel faced him but would still not meet Liam's eyes. “I owe you more than coffee, when I eventually can pay for it.”

“Gabriel, we’re friends, I was just...” Liam stopped at the look of shocked on the professor’s face. “Gabriel?” Liam was not certain but it looked like the older man was about to cry. Again. “You okay?”

“Yes, of course.” Gabriel looked away quickly. Liam saw him pull his handkerchief from his pocket.

Through all the things my eyes have seen. The best by far is you.

“I merely...” Gabriel's voice went out forcing him to clear his throat. “I’m fine, quite fine.” Liam knew he had wiped his eyes but decided the poor guy was embarrassed enough so pretended not to notice. “I really should repay you though. Music. You like music right?”

“Gabriel...” Liam started but was quickly cut off.

“A simple yes will suffice.” Gabriel replied, his eyes a tiny bit red.

“Yes.” Liam said in a sigh.

“Right, good I can work with that.” Gabriel said. “Might take me a few days but I can make it work.” He twisted his handkerchief in his hands. Liam just shook his head.

“Do you have any paper?” Liam asked.

Gabriel confused walked over to his desk, pulling out paper and a pen. Liam leaned over the desk. “Since I can’t text you, here.” He gave Gabriel the paper. “This is my cell number. I always have it on, as you’ve probably noticed. If your heat goes out again or you need something, call me.”

Gabriel flashed his trademark look. “Thank you.” He said quietly. Liam looked at his phone, it was nearly 9:00am. He glanced back at the professor who was desperately trying to regain his composure. The classroom door opened, a few students walked in. Liam knew it was time to go. 

“Don’t bother with coffee tomorrow, just go home and rest.” He smiled at Gabriel who nodded.

“Good day, Liam.” The professor smiled back.

“I hope you feel better Gabriel.” He said leaving the classroom. Liam was barely outside before he broke into a run. He had no idea why he was running. He hated running but all he knew is all the energy he'd suppressed trying to not physically hug Gabriel after his reaction to Liam calling him his friend needed to be burned off. So he ran all the way back to his housing, the entire time a huge smile on his face.


	9. I Write Sins Not Tragedies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a trip to the mall is warranted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god I'm so sorry for totally not updating this since like Oct, I didn't mean to but real life stuff just kept piling up and this chapter took a while since I had to rewrite almost the entire first part. So if there's any mistakes, sorry! I'll read through it again and correct them but I didn’t want to keep anyone waiting anymore. Hopefully I won have any more big gaps. Comments always welcome!
> 
> Title is a Panic! At The Disco song.

Liam was not going to lie to himself, he was ecstatic when Monday morning finally came. Gabriel kept to his word not showing up for coffee following Tuesday’s exam. Liam had, since for one, did not want to break his little routine and two did it on the off chance Gabriel had shown up. Liam was happy Gabriel was getting rest but at same time hated the idea of not seeing his quirky teacher lately.

Liam sat at his table, laptop open but not paying any attention to it. He watched the door like a hawk trying not to look at his phone. 7:30am. 8:00am. 8:15am. Liam was starting to get worried. Gabriel had been late before so this wasn’t completely unexpected. 8:30am. 8:45am. Liam’s knee twitched as he sat. He thought about ordering another coffee but figured he was jittery enough. At 8:50am Graced walked over to his table.

“Hi. Email from Professor Herondale. He's running... oh how did he phrase it?" Her eyes squinting went to the ceiling. "'Profoundly tardy for class' thought you’d want to know.”

Quickly thanking Grace, Liam packed up his laptop and high-tailed it to Gabriel’s flat. There was no sign indicating the heat was out which pleased him. Out of breath by the time he reached the third floor, he paused to collect himself. _This is another reason you need to quit smoking._

Deep breath, he knocked on the door. “Gabriel?” There was no answer or movement heard so Liam figured Gabriel must have already left for his office.

Another steady run across Davenport’s campus did not help, by the time he entered the dungeon, Liam was panting heavily. However, he distinctly heard Gabriel’s muffled voice behind the ajar door. Liam took roughly a minute to collect himself. Finally when he heard a loud thump followed by "Blast it!". Liam knocked on the door.

Gabriel jumped, the other book in his hand fell to the floor with a thunk, “Oh heavens." He then turned to the writer. "G-Greetings Liam.” Gabriel's tone sounded surprised. He was not wearing his normal teaching attire today, only brown corduroy pants and a blue striped shirt, with his tan cardigan over his shoulders. “Forgive me for not making coffee today.” His dejected expression killed Liam. "Time eludes me today."

“Nothing to worry about." Liam smiled while trying to assess the situation. "Are you alright? Grace told me you were running late today.” He stepped into the room.

“Oh yes quite.” Gabriel replied hastily as he stuffed papers into his briefcase. Liam cocked his head, continuing to stare at him. "Well...I-I mean if you take into consideration the vast picture..." Gabriel rambled on, Liam simply stood there. "Will you at least blink." Gabriel snapped before sitting down in his chair which moaned from age. “Fine. The weekend was..." He folded his hands together. Liam now realized how tired the professor looked, "Rough. I was getting better. Wednesday and Thursday I slept, it felt great. Friday I thought I was over it so I went out. I ran a few errands, nothing too strenuous. Saturday I woke up all stuffy again but I didn’t think too much of it. That night I could barely breathe, apparently going out triggered my ragweed allergy. I spent most of the weekend miserable. I haven't had time to refill my allergy prescription." He pulled his sweater closer around him.

“Why didn’t you call me?” Liam said louder then he wished. “I told you if you needed anything to call.”

Gabriel shrugged, “I felt better, and I didn’t think it was necessary. Besides I’ve bothered you enough. I appreciate you coming by but I'm woefully late. Plus I'd hate to infect you if I'm not fully over my cold.” Gabriel looked away.

“I think I’ve built up a decent immunity to you.” Liam meant it as a joke but regretted it immediately. Gabriel just glared. “Sorry.” Liam apologized.

“Don’t apologize, I’m just being irascible.” Placing his hands on the dilapidated arms of his chair, Gabriel pushed himself up. Liam saw him grab a box of over the counter allergy medicine tossing it into his briefcase.

“Should you go to the doctor or allergist?” Liam at this point was trying any suggestion.

“I'm already pressed for time." Gabriel shrugged on his coat. "Needless to say I don’t quite feel up to it.” Gabriel coughed. “I could call my allergist though, she knows me well enough he might fill the prescription without an appointment, goodness knows he’s done it before. I’d still have to go in town to get it though.”

“Do it, I’ll get the prescription.” Liam said, again, a little too enthusiastically.

Gabriel just looked at him and shook his head. “Fine.”

Liam sat as patiently as possible, trying not to straighten the cluttered office, as Gabriel called his allergist. From the sound of it Gabriel was able to get a prescription which made Liam happy.

“It should be ready in half an hour.” Gabriel said turning away from Liam “As much as I detest being sick. I abhor allergies.”

“You should have stayed inside.” Liam said, standing up some books that had fallen over on a shelf.

Gabriel scoffed, “Should I live in a bubble too Liam?” His tone was bitter. Liam could not blame him but still felt a bit hurt from the comment. Gabriel apparently noticed. “Apologies, again. Allergy medicine makes me...”

“Querulous.” Liam tried not smiling.

“Of course you remembered.” Gabriel said stiffly. “I had hoped to see you at Grace’s the following Friday, I...had been a bit short with you the day before. I felt bad.”

_That’s why he was there!_ “No worries.” Liam said quickly looking at his phone. “Where’s the pharmacy in town?” Gabriel gave him the address which Liam punched into his phone. “Okay that's not that far. I’ll be right back.”

“Hold on.” Gabriel walked to a coat rack in the corner littered with wintery clothes. He reached inside his own coat momentarily. Liam arched his head trying to see what the older man was doing.

“Here.” He threw Liam a brown coat. “Since you insist on being my caretaker I will not have you developing pneumonia from that light little music hoodie of yours. Put that on.”

Liam set his phone on the table so he could put the coat on. “Satisfied?” He quipped.

“It’s a little big but you’re also scrawny.” Gabriel replied, folding his arms.

“I’m what?!” Liam could not believe his ears. “Do you lose all your sense of tact on allergy meds too?” He wasn’t mad honestly but Gabriel was definitely acting weird.

Gabriel looked at him then flushed horribly turning away. “Oh goodness Liam, forgive me.” He ran his hand through his hair. “No coffee plus allergy meds doesn’t make Gabe very pleasant.”

_All work and no play._ “No worries.” Liam opened the door. The two started off down on the dimly lit corridors of the dungeon

“I must get to class before I'm lecturing to an empty hall but please come back at 11:30 and Liam...,” Gabriel did not look at him. “When you get to the pharmacy check the inside pocket.”

He nodded headed off. Liam had just exited campus when he realized he’d left his phone at Gabriel’s office so he relied on his memory; picturing the map in his head. It was just as good as his phone’s. He was able to get the prescription easily; obviously Gabriel was a regular to the little pharmacy which did not sit entirely well with Liam. He was just about to start back when what Gabriel said rang in his head. Quickly he reached inside the coat hoping he had not messed up somehow, he had been told to check before the pharmacy. What Liam pulled out answered his question; Gabriel had done this on purpose. In his hands Liam held an iTunes gift card.

_Thank you for everything. ~ Gabe_

Liam ran his hands over the top of the card admiring Gabriel's impeccable penmanship. _Music. You like music right?_ “Grace must have helped him.” Liam said aloud.

He stuck the card in his hoodie and hurried to Gabriel’s office which he hoped the professor had forgotten to lock. No luck. Deciding to explore the rest of the building which made up the dungeon, Liam found the main floor resembled the other buildings he been in. Fortunately he found a sitting area with an outlet so after setting up his laptop he killed the hour and half of waiting in no time. Liam headed back downstairs a few minutes after 11:30 since he assumed it would take Gabriel a bit to walk back. Surprised, he found the office door ajar. Liam was as just about to enter when he heard “Bloody hell!” from inside.

Now in the few weeks Liam had known Gabriel, he'd picked up on the professor’s odd way of talking. This was as close to swearing as he got so obviously something was amiss. Liam slowly opened the door to find Gabriel hovering over his old desk. The door creak alerted the professor who jumped, throwing his hand behind his back.

“Liam! Y-you’re back!” Gabriel was nearly out of breath.

Liam walked in thoroughly confused, “Well you said 11:30 right?.” He walked up, setting the medicine down, then approached Gabriel who took several steps back, his face was beet red. “What’s wrong?”

“I...um...well,” Gabriel sighed heavily then brought his hand back out. Liam looked down at his cracked phone screen. “I didn’t mean it! I’m such a klutz! I-I was looking at it and...and it moved or jiggled which I wasn’t expecting. I dropped it onto the floor and well....apologies.” His voice nearly gave out on the last word.

Liam took the phone from Gabriel. The crack was large but it wasn't the first time it had happened and would not be the last. “It’s fine, honestly.” He added trying to calm his technology impaired friend. “It...happens. I’ll just need to take it to a store.”

“You’re pretty calm for someone whose phone just broke.” Gabriel replied softly.

Liam laughed slightly, “It’s not broken, look.” He slid the lock screen revealing the number pad. “I can still use it, the screen is just broken. It’s a fairly common issue.” Something dawned in him. “Why were you looking at my phone?”

If possible Gabriel blushed even harder than before. “I...was just curious. Every person on the planet seems to have one...I simply...” His eyes darted away. “I shouldn’t have touched it.”

Liam looked at his notifications; he saw a text from Melody. “The phone vibrates when I get a text, that’s why it moved.” He smiled at Gabriel who was removing his medicine from the bag.

“It wasn’t Bryce was it?” Gabriel said apprehensively.

“No, just my sister.” Liam replied typing a message back. “Amazingly Bryce has left me alone for a few glorious days.”

“Does this mean you’ve been sleeping?” Liam winced at Gabriel’s question. “It’s not hard to connect he’s part of the reason for your insomnia.” Gabriel continued.

_Not now, Gabriel not now._ Liam cleared his throat quickly. “If I recall correctly I said you could only lecture me when you felt better.”

Gabriel frowned but did not argue. Liam watched him take the medicine from the allergist. "My kingdom for some coffee." He remarked.

“If you’re tired I can leave.” Liam said secretly hoping Gabriel wasn’t.

Gabriel waved him off.

“Will you be able to have class tomorrow?” Liam asked booting up his laptop. He needed to search for the closest _Apple Store_ to Prim.

Gabriel gave a weak nod, “Yes, allergies aren't the end of the world. What are you doing?” He asked looking at the laptop.

“Looking for an _Apple Store_ ,” He typed it into a search engine. “The company that makes my phone.” He answered Gabriel’s confused look.

“Oh they make computers!” He said cheerfully.

“And Gabriel wins this round of pop culture talk.” Liam said giving him a smile. Gabriel smirked.

“According to Google there’s one in the Three Rivers Mall.” Liam was about to find out where that was when Gabriel spoke up.

“Oh that’s in Devonshire, that’s...where my doctor is.” He looked away briefly. “Devonshire is probably the closest big city we have out here.”

“So 45 minute train ride?” Liam remembered the professor’s earlier comment.

Gabriel nodded, “Though the train only runs there on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays.”

“Ok well I can go on Wednesday then....what?” Liam noticed Gabriel’s disappointed look.

“It’s only...it was my fault, I should come with you but I can’t go on Wednesday.” Liam wasn’t sure but he swore Gabriel was irritated by Liam going himself. Maybe it was just his imagination.

“Well let’s see how you’re feeling on Friday first.” As much as Liam wanted to have a little “date” with Gabriel, he was not about to put his unrequited feelings before his friends' health.

Liam packed up and left the office not long after giving Gabriel a chance to get ready for his other classes. While walking home, Liam couldn’t help but secretly thank his klutzy friend for breaking his phone.

*****

  
“You really didn’t need to come.” Liam looked over at Gabriel who was sitting next to him on the train. They had caught the 9:00am train to Devonshire where the mall was located, grabbing coffee since Liam did not want unpleasant Gabriel accompanying him to the store. Together they now sat for the roughly 45 minute ride.

Gabriel waved him off. “It’s my fault your phone broke.” He flushed slightly then quickly pulled his scarf. “Besides I can’t live in a proverbial bubble all the time." He continued on about his health, school and how they intertwined most of the year.

“Sorry.” He apologized. “I’m rambling agajn.” He looked away running his hand through his grey hair messing it.

_God you’re so cute_. Liam said internally. Truthfully he was happy Gabriel was with him. Liam always did better in large groups of people if someone else he knew was around. One of the only reasons he was able to go to clubs with Bryce.

All Liam needed to do was go into the store, get a new phone and be done. He and Gabriel exited the train walking the few blocks from the station to the mall. It was bright and clear for late October but still cold. The sun gave no warmth. He did not admit it but Liam knew Gabriel had thrown him a dirty look as he was only wearing his “music hoodie” and Gabriel affectionately referred to it.

Liam took a deep breath as the automatic doors opened letting them into the mall. It was crowded, Liam had not expected this many people this early in the morning. His chest began to tighten.

They located the store on the mall directory; it was not too far from their current location. The store was just as busy as Liam feared. Too many people. Liam just stood looking at the store front for a moment.

_If I could fly. Then I would know. What life looks like from up above and down below_.

Right before he was about to entered he realized Gabriel was looking at him.

“Sorry did you say something?” Liam really tried to make it sound like he just not heard the professor.

“I said, since I know absolutely nothing about your little phone or this store I’m going to buy some handkerchiefs, I could use some new ones.”

Liam swallowed hard. “Okay then.” He hoped his voice did not sound as shaky as it had to him.

“I’ll meet you back here.” Gabriel smiled walking away. Liam’s hands began to shake. _Calm down, you can do this._ Liam wished to God he had brought his cigarettes. Inhaling deeply Liam walked into the store.

Almost immediately breathing was difficult. Apple Stores were always busy; Liam knew this which is why he had been depending on Gabriel for support. That was now gone. _You should have told him, he wouldn’t have left you._ Liam forced his voice to work as he talked to a technician about his phone.

_I'd keep you safe. I'd keep you dry._

Liam was not even sure how long it was taking to get a new phone; to him it seemed like hours. His hands shoved inside his hoodie pockets so the technician would not see them shake. His vision blurred forcing Liam to blink rapidly; every breath was hard, his lungs just refusing to cooperate. Finally everything was transferred and he was done. Grabbing his phone, he barely was able to thank the person before stumbling out of the store. Any relief Liam thought he would achieve did not happen. People hurried past him going wherever mall patrons go. His head began to spin; he fought not falling over finally making it to a bench in a hallway next to the store. Head between his knees he clenched his hair in his hands. _Gabriel where are you?_ Breath was not coming, he panted for any air his lungs would take in. His craving for nicotine was nearly unbearable.

_Don't be afraid Cecilia. I'm the satellite._

“There you are.” A familiar voice said.

_Shit_.

“Did you get...Liam?” He could only hear Gabriel. “Liam you’re shaking, what’s wrong?” Liam felt a heavier coat fall onto his frame and pulled it close around him. Gabriel sat next to him. Liam sat up slowly hating the worried look on his friends face.

Tears welled in Liam’s brown eyes; he turned trying to blink them away.

“You’re having an anxiety attack aren’t you?” Gabriel said quietly. Liam could only nod. “Okay try to breathe, do you want to leave?” He nodded furiously. Gabriel helped Liam up and they exited through the hallway door which led to a back hall probably used for deliveries. A few turns later, they were back outside where the cold air was all Liam needed to get his lungs to start working again. He leaned against the brick facade closing his eyes hoping the deep breaths would bring calm. It did but more tears also came as Liam slowly realized he would have to explain himself to Gabriel.

“Gabriel.” He started.

“Not now.” The professor said calmly. “Relax first, let’s get you back home and then we can talk.”

Liam rubbed his eyes, his vision cleared and he saw Gabriel holding a blue handkerchief out for him. “Here.”

Liam looked away blushing but took it wiping his eyes again. It then hit him that he was still wearing Gabriel’s coat.

“God Gabriel you’re probably freezing!” Liam whipped the coat off giving it back to the older man.

Gabriel shrugged, “I didn’t even notice the cold. And stop worrying about me.”

“Yeah but,” Liam stopped as Gabriel put his hand on Liam’s face.

“You’ve spent so much time worrying about me; let me worry about you for once.” He said with those magnificent blue eyes.

It took every bit of strength Liam had left not to physically melt, the pain in his chest released. He felt a small smile form on his face. “Okay.”

For now he would concede but still knowing Gabriel expected an explanation for all this did not sit well. However Gabriel was owed an answer and honestly Liam felt more comfortable telling his quirky teacher than even his own sister.

Gabriel held onto him as they walked back to the train station. Liam now had at least 45 minutes to figure just how he was going to explain all this to the professor.


	10. Haunted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Liam deals with post panic attack issues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from a song by Radical Face. Cw there is a very minor reference to emeto nothing bad because that's not my thing so it's quick and vague.

Neither spoke much on the train ride back, Liam mostly because he physically couldn't. Gabriel would randomly cough or ask Liam if he was okay to which Liam would nod.

"Do you mind if we make a quick stop before heading to your apartment?" Gabriel asked as they exited the station. "Won't take but a moment."

"Ok." Liam barely got out. Gabriel took Liam's arm again, he had not let go since the mall. Liam figured the professor was worried he might pass out; at this point it was still a good possibility. Liam was not paying much attention to where Gabriel was leading them until they stopped and he noticed a familiar store window. They were outside the tea shop.

"Back in a tick, will you be alright?" Liam heard Gabriel ask for probably the hundredth time, he nodded. Gabriel disappeared inside. Liam leaned against the brick exterior closing his eyes. _You should have told him._ It was something he kept repeating to himself.

A few minutes later Gabriel came out holding a small bag. "Now I know you said you don't like tea but this is Caleb's, the young man who works here, own blend for stress relief. Works wonders, I've sampled it before." He removed the tin holding it up for Liam to see.

"I thought you couldn't go in there." Liam squeaked out.

"I can't normally," Gabriel wrinkled his nose, "And I'm about to pay for it." He turned around coughing briefly

"Gabriel..." Liam sighed.

"Don't worry I'll be fine, it'll pass." Gabriel pulled out his handkerchief and coughed again.

"It's only the flower based tea that bothers me; I'll clear up in a jiffy." He rubbed his nose.

Liam did not feel like arguing only shrugged as Gabriel helped him back to his housing. Inside he sat on the couch while Gabriel made the tea. After a few minutes Gabriel joined him handing him a mug.

_If I could fly. Then I would know. What life looks like from up above and down below_.

"Well," Gabriel started, "I know you said I needed to be feeling better before I could lecture you. Well I believe I've recovered enough however I don't plan on lecturing you though, I'll simply listen."

Liam just stared blankly, any words he tried composing felt dry in his mouth. He looked around the room trying to gather himself, taking several breaths, and fought his pounding craving for a cigarette by sipping the tea. It wasn't bad. However he still could not form sentences and his voice refused to work. He set the mug on the table and rested his head in his hands.

"Maybe we're approaching this the wrong way," Gabriel said after a minute, "You're a scribe correct? So write. I'll read." Liam saw him motion to the laptop.

Liam looked at him for several moments then opened Word. He paused briefly, took a breath and then started typing. A few lines in suddenly everything clicked, he felt free as a rush of adrenaline hit. He did not even know where he started but everything came out; all his anxiety as a child in school, being introverted and his social awkwardness. Every panic attack and why, how it led to his anxiety induced insomnia. And then Bryce, the charm, the manipulation, the pain and cheating, the attack that sent Liam to Prim in the first place. Everything flowed out of him like water rushing through rapids. However in his euphoric state Liam was still careful never to mention smoking, it was still something he did not feel comfortable Gabriel knowing. Liam finally took a break to look at the clock on his laptop. He had been typing continuously for over half an hour and his hands were starting to hurt. He sat back letting out a relieved exhale.

"Feel better?" He heard Gabriel say.

Liam stared forward. "Yes, amazingly yes."

"You've never simply written out your feelings before? I'd think as a writer this would have been second nature."

"I do write when I'm stressed but not normally about me. Kind of stupid now that I think about it." Liam ran his hands through his hair. Something struck him. "Gabriel, at the mall you knew I was having an anxiety attack, how?"

Gabriel half smiled, "You see a lot of things as a teacher, and anxiety is quite common really. I had a student a few years ago who suffered severe anxiety caused by being away from home. Davenport is a small college but still dorm life is not for everyone." Gabriel paused. "Sadly that student could not cope and eventually dropped out. She was very gifted too."

Liam finally looked over at Gabriel. "I'm sorry."

Gabriel shrugged, "It happens. One can only do so much." He got up grabbing Liam's mug. "Do you want more?" He asked half turning as he walked into the kitchen.

"I'm fine, it was good though." Liam looked back at his laptop, he noticed Skype blinking.

_Please don't be Bryce, please don't be Bryce._

He clicked it, a new message from Cordelia popped up. Thank God. Liam breathed a huge sigh of relief.

_You around? Need a favor._ Was his boss' message.

_Yeah I'm here._

_Calling._

Liam cringed, Cordelia always called when she needed something but it was better than Bryce. Skype alerted and Liam hit answer.

Cordelia popped onto his screen, black hair tied back in a ponytail, her brown eyes giving him a warm look along with her smile.

"Liam! God I've missed you! How have you been?" She leaned forward into the camera.

"Fine Cordy, what can I do for you." Liam replied trying to hide how exhausted he felt.

"I need..." Cordelia's focus shifted to over Liam's shoulder, "Well hello greying and gorgeous."

Shocked Liam looked over to see Gabriel had rejoined him and apparently was in camera view.

Gabriel's shock matched Liam's. "Can...Can she see me?"

"Oh Liam, I approve." Cordelia continued to stare at Gabriel. "No wonder Bryce is pissed at you."

"Cordy!" Liam seized the laptop stepping up and over the table he ran around to the hall hoping he was out of earshot of Gabriel. "It's not like that." He whispered, "He's just a friend."

"Still I approve." She winked at him.

"What do you need?" Liam's patience was running thin.

"I need you to work your Photoshop magic on some pictures Paisley took. You know, make them pretty." Liam saw a file being sent to him.

"And why cant Paisley do this?" Liam asked, mildly annoyed as he clicked accept.

"Because," Cordelia held the word, "She's editing for me since someone pissed off Bryce." She eyed him with a smile.

"Motherfu..." Liam did not continue.

Cordelia shrugged, "Don't worry about it, you know Bryce he just needs to cool down for a few days hell be back. Anyways, just get these to me before Monday if you can. Unless you're...busy." She laughed.

"It's not like that!" Liam tried to not blush, he failed.

"Uh huh. Very jealous you landing an Eleventh Doctor clone." Cordelia then mouthed _He is hot_.

"I know...I know." Liam replied. "I'll work on these over the weekend. Bye Cordy." He clicked End Call.

Liam leaned his head back against the wall letting out a breath. "How much of that did you hear?"

"The bigger query is how much of it did I discern." Gabriel replied from the other room.

He was about to relax, when Gabriel continued "I did hear something about you quote, pissed off Bryce, end quote?"

_Damnit_.

Walking slowly back into the sitting area, Liam set his laptop back on the table. Gabriel sat one leg crossed over the other and hands knitted together, with the grey sweater and bowtie he looked like a therapist.

"I...I hadn't gotten to that part yet in my little journal entry. Besides that falls under my rules." Liam slumped back down next to Gabriel.

"But you covered insomnia right." Gabriel replied.

"Fine yes I talked to Bryce, he called me!" Liam yelled jumping up off the couch. "It was a stupid idea, I know. We fought; I didn't sleep for nearly two days or leave this apartment. When I finally did I was a jerk and upset you, which made me feel even worse than my fight with Bryce." Liam paced the small living space. "Now do you understand why I didn't want to tell you?" He looked away from Gabriel. "Not that I physically could."

Gabriel only looked at him thoughtfully.

"What?" Liam said, throwing his hands up.

"Nothing, I told you I wasn't going to lecture you." The quiet calm in Gabriel's voice hit Liam.

"Sorry." He collapsed into the chair. "I'm talking to you like you're him."

"Well I guarantee I'm not Bryce. I wouldn't want to be anyone who gave you anxiety. I'm just Gabe. Awkward, oversensitive Gabe." He smiled which melted Liam. "And I shouldn't have been so hard on you that day. You said you had a bad night I overreacted." He looked away and coughed.

"Gabriel we've been over this." He paused as Gabriel put his hand up

"I know we did and...hold on." Gabriel coughed again, it had a slight wheeze to it Liam didn't like.

Liam stood back up holding his hand out to Gabriel. "Come on, I'm taking you home. You've listened to me whine enough for tonight."

"I'm fine." Gabriel’s voice was breathy again. "I merely need my inhaler soon."

"Good you can use one at your place, let's go." Liam threw Gabriel his coat. However the professor did not budge.

"I'm not leaving here until I'm 100% satisfied that you're okay." Gabriel looked up at Liam.

"I"m fine!" Liam shouted.

"If you were fine you wouldn't be yelling." Gabriel replied calmly while retrieving an inhaler from his coat pocket.

"Gabriel just..." Liam really did not understand why he was yelling, he wasn't mad at Gabriel. He was mad at Bryce. Now even more irate that someone he had not physically talked to in days was influencing his behavior on the only person he cared about. In that instance Liam's stomach clenched as the need to vomit surfaced causing him to run down the hall into the bathroom slamming the door behind.

"Liam!" He heard Gabriel from the other side.

Liam retched but quickly recovered. "I'm fine!" He yelled back. He was not lying either he actually did feel a lot better. "Really, I'm fine." He repeated since he was sure his friend did not believe him. He sat on the floor gathering himself.

"Liam?" A quiet voice said.

"Give me just a moment, Gabriel." He replied leaning back against the door. After a few moments Liam got up splashed some water on his face, took a deep breath and opened the door. Gabriel was right in his path. His blue eyes lined with worry. Liam smiled at him. "I'm sorry I yelled at you." He said softly. "I hate that fact that Bryce is still influencing me." Together they walked back to the couch..

Liam felt Gabriel gaze on him when the professor sat back down. "Ugh I'm so pathetic." He hung his head.

"What's your middle name?" Gabriel asked.

Liam threw a surprised look at the professor. "James, why?"

"Liam James Black! You are not pathetic!" Gabriel said in what Liam would later refer to as his best teacher voice. It also took Liam a split second to remember he'd told Gabriel his last name during one of their early talks.

"You are human," Gabriel continued, "I know you hate thinking Bryce has any leverage over you but were all influenced by people around us as I've said before. Sometimes for good, sometimes not. At least you recognized it. You said Bryce is a charmer and master manipulator. I'm sure he saw the potential in you because of your kindness. It's not your fault he's the pompous twit. You made a poor decision but it does not make you pathetic. Sometimes even decisions made with the highest confidence fall short." Gabriel sniffed hard rubbing his nose, Liam had a gut feeling it was not due to any allergy. "Excuse me a moment." Gabriel walked into the kitchen. He returned a moment later with another mug of tea for him and Liam.

"If you could answer one question for me and then I promise never to bring the subject of Bryce up ever again." Gabriel said as he sat back down leaning against the back of the couch. "Your lady friend..."

"Cordelia, she's my boss." Liam answered quickly then took a sip of tea.

"When she saw me, though I don't understand how, she said 'No wonder Bryce is pissed at you'. Goodness what an unrefined word." Gabriel complained which actually made Liam chuckle. "What did she mean?"

Liam looked away hoping the older man would not see him blush. "She was confused, she thought...well..." Liam needed to force his voice. He paused taking a breath. "Bryce doesn't know about you, no way in hell I'd tell him anything about what I'm doing up here. He's mad because I called him out regarding his reason for wanting me to come home."

"Which was?" Gabriel asked then put his hand up. "Apologies it's none of my business I shouldn't be so meddlesome."

Liam sighed, "It's fine. Bryce got dumped so he wanted to use me to get back at the person who dumped him. Which, in an ironic twist of fate, is the person he cheated on me with." Liam rubbed his temples. "So yeah, no way I was going to let that happen."

He heard another cough squeak out of Gabriel

Liam looked out the corner of his eye at Gabriel who was failing at covering it up. By the red on his cheeks Gabriel was also aware of his failure. "My inhaler was empty."

Liam shook his head, "How can I convince you I'm fine so you'll go home and relax? I truly do feel better since...well since..." Liam pointed to the bathroom. "I've taken up too much of your time today."

"You have not. But I'll concede since you do appear calmer than earlier." Gabriel stood up as did Liam who stretched. "However you will do several things for me tonight." Teacher-mode Gabriel was in full swing Liam thought. "Keep writing, that seems to be the best therapy for you. Eat something. Also be truthful did the tea help?" Gabriel looked hopeful.

Liam nodded, "It did, thank you." Gabriel smiled which helped more than tea ever would.

_Through all the things my eyes have seen. The best by far is you._

"Still," Gabriel started putting on his coat, "I'd like confirmation you're doing better tomorrow." He paused. "I know it's Saturday but can we convene for coffee tomorrow morning, say 8:00am? Will you be awake?"

Liam just looked at him.

"Oh right, insomnia. Well you need to promise me you'll try to sleep tonight." Gabriel said as they approached Liam's door.

"Yes Professor Herondale." Liam said matter-a-factly but a small smile curled his lips.

Gabriel laughed which made his breath wheeze, "Oh my, don't call me that. I prefer hearing my name from you." He opened the door but stood in the frame. "So coffee?"

"Yes I'll be there, I promise as long as you promise me you'll do nothing tonight except use your inhaler and relax." Liam smiled though tightness in his chest began to form. Gabriel agreed, said goodnight then turned. Liam's hand shot out wanting to grab the professors coat and pull him back, hold him and confess everything he had buried in his heart. He did not want Gabriel to leave him. At the last second, just as his fingers grazed the threads of the coat Liam caught himself jerking his hand back, watching his friend walk away.

"Thank you Gabriel." Liam said to himself.


	11. Fix You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Liam learns something he wish he hadn't and Gabriel gets a lesson in technology.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is a Coldplay song. I hope people are enjoying this so far. I'd love to know what everyone's thoughts are.

Liam woke up much later than anticipated. It was 7am when his phone alarm sounded. He cleaned up, grabbed his laptop, threw on his music hoodie and headed to meet Gabriel.

Opening the door he was surprised to see the professor actually beat him to cafe. Gabriel sat at their table in the back; he looked relieved to see Liam.

“Before you ask,” Liam said setting his laptop down and sitting, “Yes, I slept and wrote and ate. Not in that order though.”

“Splendid!” Gabriel exclaimed clasping his hands together, the reaction made Liam smile. Today his friend wore a light grey button up shirt, no tie and his tan cardigan. Liam also noted Gabriel's voice was stronger than previous too, less breathy.

Liam’s smile faded, “Gabriel I should have told you everything weeks ago. At least about me having anxiety I don’t know how much I would have been able to get out.”

“Hindsight is 20/20, Liam.” Gabriel replied. “If I hadn’t have broken your phone we never would have gone to the mall. Sadly we can’t predict the future or me being clumsy.” He gave his trademark look.

“You’re not clumsy Gabriel, you didn’t expect the phone to vibrate. You’d be surprised how often it happens.” Liam said trying to be reassuring.

“i beg to differ. However, I’ll take your word for it though I suspect you’re simply attempting to make me feel better.” He sighed.

Liam shook his head smiling then stuck his hand into his hoodie pocket and clutched the gift card had secretly been given the other day. His heart beat against his chest. Liam pulled out the card holding it up between his first and middle finger.

Gabriel said nothing but Liam noticed he was having a devil of a time curbing the grin on his face.

“Explain.” Liam stated.

Gabriel shrugged, “I have absolutely no idea what that is.” His smile widened.

“And your signature just happened to be on the back.” Liam set the card on the table opening his laptop.

“You buy me coffee, I buy you music. Seems like a fair trade.” Gabriel drummed his fingers together.

Liam looked over the top of his screen throwing his friend a fake glare. “Fine, then you pick what I buy.” He turned the laptop showing the iTunes library.

“Oh no, it’s yours. Besides I highly doubt you’d like anything I do.” Gabriel fidgeted while looking across the room.

“Try me.” Liam sat back hands folded across his chest. He was not about to let this slide plus he was having fun.

Gabriel scratched the back of his head and sat up; he still would not look at Liam. “Well...as you probably can guess I don’t listen to a lot of what young people consider people popular music. It doesn’t make much sense to me.” He thought for a moment. “I like instrumental, classical, jazz, swing. If I listen to anything with words it’s usually opera.”

Liam kept his gaze forward since that was exactly how he figured the professor would answer and though he found it amusing he would not laugh.

“Fair enough.” He opened his player. “Can’t say I’m on opera fan but I do like swing or big band. Let’s try this.” He clicked a song then handed Gabriel one of his ear buds. Liam bit his tongue at the professor’s skeptical look. “The band is called _Caravan Palace_. They do a kind of music called Electro-swing.” Liam watched for a reaction from the older man.

Gabriel listened, giving Liam an odd assortment of curious looks. “It’s...unconventional.” He said finally.

“You don’t have to like it; I just wanted to see your reaction.” Liam took the ear bud back.

Gabriel shrugged, “It wasn’t bad, merely peculiar. Electro-swing? Hmm Gabe learned something new today.”

Liam smirked and stuck the gift card back in his pocket.

“Well maybe something different. You knew Coldplay so maybe something like...”

“No!” Gabriel said it with such force Liam physically moved back in his chair. Gabriel beautiful blue eyes had pain in them but before Liam could say anything his friend blushed horribly looking away. “I mean, I don’t like Coldplay, I just...” Gabriel wrung his hands together. Liam saw him blink repeatedly. _Oh no_.

“Could you excuse me for a moment?” Liam did not even get to answer as Gabriel got up from the table and walked to the front door.

Liam turned back to his laptop when he noticed something. Gabriel’s coat still sat on the chair. _Shit_. As Liam grabbed the coat, the scarf fell onto the floor. Liam reached for it noticing the initials MW were embroidered on one of the ends. Liam cursed. The scarf Gabriel always wore wasn’t even his. Ignoring the slow burning sensation in his stomach Liam headed outside leaving his laptop on the table. It was cold as usual but thankfully there was no wind. Not that it mattered Liam had a good idea at how bad Gabriel’s asthma could get in these conditions. He noticed an alley to his right and decided to look there first; the professor could not have gotten very far.

Sure enough turning the corner Liam saw Gabriel huddled against the wall of the cafe.

“You just got over a cold; let’s not have you catch your death yet.” Liam held out the coat.

Gabriel kept his eyes downcast as he put the coat back on. Liam wrapped the scarf around his friend's neck and saw slight tear stains on Gabriel’s face. As much as he wanted to know more about MW now was not the time. “Come on, let me grab my laptop then I’ll walk you home.”

Gabriel gave a half nod still not looking at Liam.

“I seem to constantly put my foot in my mouth around you.” Liam said laptop bag swung over his shoulder as they walked back to Davenport.

Gabriel said nothing, just stared forward hands in his pockets.

 _Nice going Liam_. “So if music isn’t really your thing what is?” At this point was trying anything to get the older man to talk.

“You need a better coat.” Gabriel said quietly.

“Sorry?” Liam had heard him but figured if Gabriel wanted to slam his choice of outerwear again he deserved it.

“I can see you shiver, I told you that little music hoodie wouldn’t be enough.” The professor ran his hand over his nose. He had been sniffling since the alley.

“Next time I go to the mall I’ll buy one.” Liam decided to be blunt now. “Are you alright?” It was a stupid question he knew this but still felt the need to ask.

“Peachy.” Gabriel replied rubbing his nose again, the cold air and his breakdown were not helping.

They finally arrived at the apartment. Gabriel walked in but Liam hung in the hallway.

“You’re not coming in?” The professor asked.

Liam rocked back on his heels, “Considering I ruined your morning I figured…”

“Blimey.” Gabriel reached out pulling a surprised Liam in.

“Okay then.” Liam removed his laptop bag setting it down.

“I’ll be right back.” Gabriel said walking down the hall into the bedroom.

Liam noticed a few empty pizza boxes on the table so he tossed them into the trash. He then walked into the living room folding newspapers into a neat pile on the coffee table. Not surprised at all that Gabriel still read them. He also folded a blanket laying it on the back of the couch and stacked books from the floor against the wall.

He heard a throat clear behind him. Liam turned to see Gabriel staring at him arms folded across his chest. Liam looked around confused but then it hit him.

“Sorry.” He said sitting down. “I truly don’t realize I’m even doing it.”

He swore he saw Gabriel crack a smile as he sat next to Liam. “I like books.” Gabriel said. Liam gave him an odd look. “You asked earlier what my thing was. I like to read.” He sat forward elbows on his knees. “However the bookshop in town doesn’t carry much and in 10 years I think I’ve read nearly everything in the Davenport library.”

“What do you like?” Liam grabbed his laptop bag.

Gabriel shrugged “You said your music taste is eclectic, I guess you could say that’s how I am with books. I’ll read anything; I simply...like to escape.”

“Try this.” Liam said handing him a tablet.

Gabriel shook his head, “Oh no, I don’t want touch any of your electronics after what happened with the phone.”

Liam smiled, “It won’t bite or vibrate. Here I’ll show you. It’s called a Kindle.” Liam still saw the skepticism on the professor’s face. “I bet my next paycheck you’ve probably seen these before, many college students have them.” Liam opened to the main page. “Now pick a book.”

“What?” Gabriel said. Liam could not be more enamored with the perplexed look that graced his friends face.

“Pick a book, any book.” Liam repeated.

Gabriel looked at Liam like he was speaking Mandarin Chinese. “ _Nicomachean Ethics_ by Aristotle.” He finally said.

Liam was not about to admit he had no idea how to spell the title so he simply typed in Aristotle and the book popped up. He clicked the free look tab then turned the tablet back to Gabriel. Still confused Gabriel looked down at the Kindle, his eyes widened as he pulled out his glasses. _Achievement unlocked._ Liam smiled.

Gabriel grabbed the tablet from Liam. “How...I don’t...and don’t say magic.” He threw Liam a look but then went right back to the book.

Liam sat back, “It’s a personal reader. You can purchase books just like you would at a bookstore.” He giggled silently as Gabriel ran his fingers over the screen. “You have a library card right?”

“Of course doesn’t everyone?” Gabriel said not looking up.

Liam shook his head amused. “Well you can check out books from public libraries as well. Thousands of books right at your fingertips.”

“Dear me.” Gabriel said quietly. Liam felt better when he saw a true smile form on the professor’s face. Liam enjoyed showing Gabriel how to work the Kindle and was impressed that his friend picked it up rather swiftly. Not that personal readers were all that difficult but he was tutoring someone who still owned a touch tone phone.

However, in the back of his mind Liam could not shake Gabriel’s reaction from this morning. Something about Coldplay pained his friend and he wanted to know what. Liam had several guesses, he assumed it had to do with the MW scarf and it wasn’t hard to decipher that the M stood for Michael. Liam also would never admit this to Gabriel but he was rather hurt that after all his rants and raves about Bryce, Gabriel had not opened up about his personal life. Liam did not want to pry as he saw how his friend reacted just to the mention of a band name. Plus he really had only known Gabriel for about a month; maybe the older man just liked privacy.  
_We all have things we don’t want to talk about._ Liam remembered what Gabriel had said. Whatever the reason Liam decided not to think about it for a while or at least until a better opening showed itself.

“Liam this is...extraordinary.” Gabriel removed his glasses setting the Kindle on the coffee table.

“Apparently I’m pulling you into the 21st century whether you like it or not.” Liam gave a slight laugh.

“I wouldn’t go that far.” Gabriel replied also laughing. His blue eyes sparkled making Liam all warm inside. He must have been staring for too long since suddenly he realized Gabriel was giving him a rather uncomfortable look.

“Sorry what?” Liam pretended he had simply zoned out.

“You alright? You looked discombobulated for a moment.” Gabriel’s choice of words never failed to amuse Liam.

“It’s nothing, I was just thinking.” Liam half lied.

“You’re shocked I figured out your little book reader aren’t you.” Gabriel replied with a slight hint of embarrassment.

“No.” _How happy you make me_. Liam closed his eyes briefly.

“Liam?” The concern in Gabriel’s voice jerked Liam back to his senses. “What’s wrong?” Gabriel leaned forward putting his hand on Liam’s forearm. The gesture was subtle something a friend would do who was worried about you. But all it caused for Liam was pain, his heart physically ached. The worst part, he enjoyed it. The emotional pain Bryce had caused was nothing compared to unrequited feelings. Until he had a better understanding of Michael and how exactly he fit into Gabriel’s life, if he even did anymore, he could not say anything. He would not risk losing who he now considered his best friend. Liam swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat when Gabriel had reached out for him and smiled at his quirky teacher.

“Nothing.” He knew Gabriel was not buying it.

“You’re lying; your eyes give you away. If you’re still worried about earlier, I just overreacted again, nothing you did.” Gabriel’s smile did not convince Liam of anything.

_If I could fly. Then I would know. What life looks like from up above and down below._  
_I’d keep you safe. I’d keep you dry._

Liam was going to hate himself for what he said next. “Sorry I’m just a little tired. I did sleep last night but obviously not enough.”

“Goodness Liam why didn’t you say something earlier? I shouldn’t be keeping you.” Gabriel’s look was a cross between concern and irritation. He went to hand Liam the Kindle.

“You keep it for now, you read more than I do.” Liam pulled his laptop bag back on.

Gabriel blushed putting the Kindle back on the table. “If this distracts me from grading papers tomorrow you will be in substantial trouble.” He opened the door for Liam.

“I’ll see you on Monday,” Liam waved and started down the stairs.

“Cheers Liam, sleep well.” Gabriel replied, Liam snuck one last look at the professor’s eyes.

The chill outside hit hard, Liam was shivering terribly by the time he got off campus. Maybe Gabriel was right, maybe his little music hoodie was not enough. Maybe he could talk Gabriel into going to the mall again. Maybe he could somehow get Gabriel to talk about his private life. And maybe, just maybe he could tell his greying and gorgeous friend how he felt.

Maybe.


End file.
